Assertive responses are particularly effective in countering bullying because the child who masters this type of direct, emotionally honest communication demonstrates that a bully's attacks will be answered in a fair, but formidable way.
When your partner consistently avoids sex and intimacy, or on the rare occasion when they are willing, are obviously doing so reluctantly -- the accumulations of repeated rejections are likely to have a big impact on your self-esteem.
In working with veterans for the past five years, I have learned a lot about their lives, thoughts, feelings, actions, intentions and outcomes. These learnings have reshaped the way I look at homeless veterans, myself and my community.
The ancient Greek mathematician and philosopher Pythagoras said, "Silence is better than unmeaning words." Do you sometimes say things you later regret when you 'fill the gap' during a lull in the conversation with words that are long on syllables but short on meaning?
Raise your hand. Ask questions. Listen to your gut. And when in doubt, check it out. You're worth it. Wouldn't you rather risk having someone think you ask an awful lot of questions than to find yourself laying on your death bed wishing you'd spoken up when you had that bad feeling?
When I was a little girl, I believed the way to get others to like me was to be nice. I shouldn't be confrontational. It would be wrong to express anger, because that would make me look "crazy" or "wild." The brainwashing from society starts young.
The substantial effort and work that are required for us to demonstrate a real influence in our environment is extremely worthwhile, as it is guaranteed to produce not only real life improvements but psychological and emotional payoffs that are just as valuable and even longer lasting.
The ability to be assertive and say "no" is a communication skill we all learn at a very young age. If you're a parent, you know better than anyone that once this word enters a child's vocabulary it's used very often. However, as an adult, "no" is often much more difficult to say.
Don't get me wrong, helping others can bring us great joy, but we have to watch that we don't overdo and risk being of no help to anyone. By scheduling time for ourselves, we are able to be both helpful and healthy.
It's not possible for the weather to be 70 degrees with a light breeze every day, and it's not possible for relationships to go smoothly all the time. There are going to be glitches, and we can get better at dealing with them.
We all smooth over the truth and bend in our standards from time to time in order to reduce conflict and make relationships work. But when pleasing others becomes a habit you may find yourself resentful, which ultimately damages your relationships.