Grieving openly serves the important function of assuring ourselves and others that it is normal, and temporary, and part of a full and authentic life. Only suppressed grief threatens one's mental health.

How do we get doctors to honor our wishes at the end of life? Most recommend preparing an advance directive, and I'm no exception. These documents are not infallible, but they are the best things we've got going for us when we can't speak for ourselves.

We need specific legal protection for professionals who honor their patients' end-of-life decisions and follow best-practice standards for managing end-of-life agonies.

Eighteen years ago, Dr. Peter Goodwin led the fight to grant Oregonians the right to end-of-life choice. Terminally ill with a rare, fatal brain disease with no known cure, Peter exercised the right to a peaceful death he helped secure.

In November, Dr. Ken Murray published a blog called "How Doctors Die." It's been reverberating through the Web ever since, prompting a continuous stream of comments and inspiring others to offer their own essays and input.

The year 2011 closed with good news out of Kentucky. On Friday Governor Steve Beshear refused to approve a Louisville hospital merger that threatened patient choice.

Let's be clear. Our movement for end-of-life choice does not condone assisted suicide, and it never has.

Above all, value humility in your physician. Find a doctor who utters the words, "I don't know" and you've found true gold.

Too many terminally ill patients suffer with under-treated pain. Too many feel abandoned because their physicians forget about their duty to relieve suffering.

The US Conference of Catholic Bishops recently mandated tube-feeding for all permanently unconscious patients in Catholic healthcare institutions. How did it come to take this position?

Changing the focus from the disease to the person who has the disease would create radical change indeed.