Father's Day, 2001. A day that did not start out well. A day on which I had never felt more or so completely alone.

Seldom will anything break your heart as easily as the sight of your child in unbelievable emotional pain... and what greater pain is there to a child than the tragic loss of a parent. Though it has been many years since his death, my daughter still experiences bouts of sadness because Daddy is not here anymore.

I will come out and say it. I love my job. I really do. And I also realize just how lucky I am to feel that way. The fact is that every single day, I have the privilege of being in service to people in need.

The only thing that a wonderful first date should lead to is a second date...not breakfast in bed the following morning.

The answer to the question of when you should begin the intensely personal part of your Healing Journey known as the 'go-through' is quite simple.

Most people in the world are afraid of dying, which is not exactly what you would call an irrational fear. However, many people are so afraid of dying that they do not even want to discuss death, which, uncomfortable as this discussion may be, is downright irresponsible.

Although certainly not among the most enthralling subjects, dealing with financial fall-out after the loss of a spouse is undoubtedly among the most important. While almost everything else on a widowed's to-do list can wait, the importance of setting financial and legal transition into immediate motion cannot be overstated.

I must have had a very confused look on my face when it happened. It was the same look that I have seen on our cat when she sees a talking parrot in the waiting room of the veterinarian's office.

Although it may be tempting to do otherwise, do not choose to dwell on the unfairness of your widowhood. The unfairness is a given, however dwelling on the unfairness will not take you in the healing direction that you wish to travel.

I can think of a lot of things that need filling up at one time or another. Some of those things might include: A bank account, a gas tank, a martini glass. Now... do you know what definitely does not need 'filling'? Somebody else's shoes.

Sometimes all we need is for just one person who has walked the same path to quietly and gently say, "It really is OK..."

Twelve years. An entire lifetime ago. Whether by plane, car, ship, train or other means, most of us have taken a long trip of one kind or another. While in the midst of traveling, our habit tends to be to constantly check the time or the mileage to determine how far we have to go until we get 'there,' wherever 'there' happens to be.

A really appalling thought recently occurred to me. I would even go so far as to call it an epiphany.

They were two men. I was wife to one and daughter to the other. They were two separate, distinct and unbearably difficult losses. I recognized and grieved those two losses as such. All grief is not the same.

I have always taken great umbrage at anyone criticizing, questioning or opining on how the widowed handle their grief and their highly individual and intensely personal healing journeys. Unfortunately, there seems to be a lot of it going on.