They placed him in my arms and he was tiny and perfect. And he looked up at me and gave me that look -- you know the one. He opened up his eyes and looked straight into mine and I could almost hear him say, "Hi Mom, I've been waiting to meet you."
I'm constantly witnessing ways in which my toddler son is getting less than his older sister did. And yet, despite the outward appearance of deprivation, I'm discovering that the things he's missing aren't as important as I thought.
I used to get so annoyed when outdoor toys found their way indoors: sand buckets and pool noodles, hula hoops and soccer balls, the tricycle, the scooter. Now, I just take three deep breaths and look away.
I wanted to protect him, but the more I focused on him, the more he fought it off. It was like he already had a shield of armor around his heart, which pretty much broke mine. I thought I had sealed his fate and he was punishing me.
I know that no two children have the same set of parents, even though they live in the same family. Why? Because parents are different with each of their children, and no two children ever take the same role.
You will be the third. It will be busy and far more loud and chaotic than anything your brother or sister was born into. You will be expected more than they ever were to do more, learn more on your own. You will never have less of me, but will have a different me than the one they first met.
People have long been fascinated with birth order and how it shapes our lives; and recent research indicates that first- and secondborns do indeed see the world differently in ways that impact their motivation and likelihood of career and personal success.
If you pay someone to advise you on changing careers these days, the very first thing they'll likely do is administer a personality test to see what career paths you're suited to. So, how should we think about personality types?
Studies from the past three years show that birth order determines IQ and our personality traits. If this is so, then how do sibling rivalries shake out in stepfamilies when birth order becomes an issue?