Boot

I am currently writing a post called "Welcome to Chicago-A Beginners Guide To Driving In Chicago," that gives newcomers to our city the lowdown. My original title was "Violated! What To Do To Keep Chicago From Sticking It In Your A**."

I got out, loaded up with shirts and dresses, and confronted what was possibly the deadest dead tire ever. My heart sank. But then the kindheartedness that defines the Midwest started peeking out from every corner and I was saved by my city.

The key advice to everyone is this: Make sure you never have more than two unpaid tickets in Final Determination. Once you get that that third ticket, pay it right away so you don't go into Seizure Status and have to pay all your tickets.

My trusty Mercury never got towed, as I parked within the dotted lines. I lived a life of smug bootlessness. Until last week.