Carrie Prejean's Vibrator Signs Book Deal
The book, tentatively titled Still Buzzing, will offer what the publisher called a "vibrator's eye view" of the scandals and controversies that have dogged Ms. Prejean.
The book, tentatively titled Still Buzzing, will offer what the publisher called a "vibrator's eye view" of the scandals and controversies that have dogged Ms. Prejean.
Andy Borowitz | Posted 11.10.2009 | Comedy
A new memo on Afghanistan written by one of Obama's top advisors emphasizes the futility of a continued U.S. military presence there, at one point going so far as to compare the war to Jay Leno Show.
Andy Borowitz | Posted 11.07.2009 | Comedy
"Maybe I'm not the sharpest tool in the shed, but I can't for the life of me remember whether this is the bill I liked or the bill I despised," said Rep. Rand DeVane (D-OH). "I'm only human."
Andy Borowitz | Posted 11.06.2009 | Comedy
While some on Main Street grumbled that the country was struggling through a so-called "jobless recovery," Wall Street professionals were cracking open the champagne Friday.
Andy Borowitz | Posted 11.05.2009 | Comedy
Ms. Prejean's defiant hooters held a press conference in Sacramento this morning to lay out their legal strategy and to refute the way they have been characterized in the media.
Andy Borowitz | Posted 11.04.2009 | Comedy
Voters in Maine turned out in record numbers yesterday to repeal a law legalizing same-sex Oscar hosts, throwing the plans for this year's Academy Awards into turmoil.
Andy Borowitz | Posted 11.03.2009 | Comedy
"When I was running for President, no one knew exactly what 'Change You Can Believe In' meant," Mr. Obama said. "One year later, I am proud to say that that is still the case."
Andy Borowitz | Posted 11.02.2009 | Comedy
In a bold new strategy designed to locate the world's most wanted man, the United States today dispatched a team of paparazzi to find Osama bin Laden.
Andy Borowitz | Posted 11.01.2009 | Comedy
After Fox reported that Meb Keflezighi, an American runner, had placed first in the marathon, conservative activists questioned Mr. Keflezighi's status as a U.S. citizen, which he became in 1998.
Andy Borowitz | Posted 10.31.2009 | Comedy
Mr. Dobbs will be joining a schedule that includes such programs as Tom and Jerry and What's New, Scooby-Doo?
Andy Borowitz | Posted 10.29.2009 | Comedy
Sen. Lieberman added that "for years, a**holes in America have had no voice, and I want to be that whiny, nasal voice."
Andy Borowitz | Posted 10.28.2009 | Comedy
"When we put together This Is It, we thought it was it, but it turns out it wasn't it," said Sony spokesperson Carol Foyler.
Andy Borowitz | Posted 10.27.2009 | Comedy
The mystery surrounding the flight that strayed 150 miles from its intended destination was resolved today as Northwest reported that the two pilots were never in the cockpit to begin with.
Andy Borowitz | Posted 10.26.2009 | Comedy
As the negotiations over health care reform reach a crucial stage, Mr. Obama said that for his own part he was in favor of "the silent option."
Andy Borowitz | Posted 10.24.2009 | Comedy
Spy-satellite photos reveal a shipment of Windows 7 software, as well as a dozen IT professionals from Redmond, Washington, arriving early Saturday morning in Tehran.
Andy Borowitz | Posted 10.24.2009 | Comedy
Northwest Airlines today unveiled a new corporate slogan, which "reflects our dedication to getting our passengers as close as possible to their intended destination."
Andy Borowitz | Posted 10.21.2009 | Comedy
Despite the avalanche of publicity he's received in recent weeks, the virus dismissed charges that he's a publicity whore.
Andy Borowitz | Posted 10.20.2009 | Comedy
In a stunning victory, Afghan president Hamid Karzai today was declared the winner of the runoff election scheduled to take place November 7.
Andy Borowitz | Posted 10.19.2009 | Comedy
Amid fears that publicity-starved parents may try to convince unwitting viewers that they have launched giant balloons with their children inside, Apple today introduced a new iPhone app that detects balloon hoaxes.
Andy Borowitz | Posted 10.15.2009 | Comedy
Moments after a little boy who was believed to be in his parents' homemade helium balloon was found safe and sound, millions of Americans came to the realization that they had flushed the entire afternoon down the toilet.
Andy Borowitz | Posted 10.15.2009 | Comedy
The historic profits notched by the nation's biggest banks are starting to have a positive impact on the broader economy, with the cocaine and hooker sectors showing striking gains.
Andy Borowitz | Posted 10.13.2009 | Comedy
Orly Taitz, leader of the so-called "birther" movement, said that Sen. Snowe's vote was "textbook Kenyan" behavior. "She's putting her tribe first," Ms. Taitz said.
Andy Borowitz | Posted 10.13.2009 | Comedy
The acquisition of the Rams would represent the culmination of a dream for Mr. Limbaugh, who had previously tried to acquire the Minnesota NFL team and rename it the Minnesota Vicodins.
Andy Borowitz | Posted 10.12.2009 | Comedy
The United Nations Security Council met in emergency session today amid fears that Iran may be close to developing a boy band.
Andy Borowitz | Posted 10.10.2009 | Comedy
In Nashville, country music insiders were shocked by Mr. Obama's selection, given that he has only been in office for eight months and during that time has yet to record a single country song.
Andy Borowitz | Posted 11.11.2009 | Comedy