I found that I enjoy motherhood as much as I always hoped/wanted to, and that many parts of it came naturally. Other parts were more of a struggle, but every moment of difficulty and strife was more than worth it and more than made up for in love and snuggles and happiness.
My decision to stop breastfeeding wasn't devastating for me. It had been a pretty miserable experience from the beginning that, for me, took away from the joy of having a baby. But the decision to stop definitely came with plenty of guilt.
Mommy is so sorry. I didn't know that two babies would be so hard. I didn't think I'd treat you any differently than your brother. And I didn't realize how quickly life would pile up and try to steal our special moments from the two of us.