In executive coaching, I have clients hurtling themselves toward a goal. They want to get "there" no matter what. Then there are the adrenaline junkies who enjoy the risk of chaos, taking pride in not needing methods and plans.
Are we apologizing in order to navigate our way through a still-sexist workplace, where issuing normal demands and requests can still brand a woman as "difficult" in the eyes of her coworkers? Are we apologizing to appear more likable? Are we genuinely stepping on a lot of strangers' feet?
I think about goals as destinations. They are where I want to go personally, professionally, with my health, in my relationships and spiritually. They are where the flag will be planted and I can say I have arrived.
Women tend to recognize the investment their employer made in them and they want to repay it. In Jody's case, she didn't realize that she had long ago repaid her boss just by doing a stellar job during the previous 10 years.
As a coach who helps people find jobs, I frequently see people engaging in behavior that makes me think,"...are you absolutely determined to guarantee that you never get hired? Because if so, thumbs up, Kid! If so, you're aces! If not... oy vey."
Pace yourself. I challenge you to master one of these items every 6 months. On this journey you will learn that "No" is in fact a complete sentence. In order to make room for the things that are really important in your life you will have to become comfortable with saying no.
Demonstrate that you're completely in the moment by fearlessly listening, acknowledging cues in a conversation, and asking for clarification when you need it. Don't be afraid to ask questions. It shows you're unafraid to both acknowledge you didn't understand something and get the insight you need.
It didn't come early in my career (understatement, as 59 years old is a dinosaur in the youth-obsessed fashion industry), but maybe the best should be saved for last... My prophecy at the age of 4 took a bit longer to come true than imagined, but it's all about the journey.
Stock options are used to reward longevity and loyalty, while salary is the benefit you get for doing your day-to-day job. Don't forego a salary negotiation because your employer offers a stock benefit.
In my pursuit of success in corporate America, I found that the game-changers were well versed in a different code: one that was unwritten. I made it my business to glean the lessons along the way and found these invaluable few to be most essential in the proverbial rat race.
I agree that it's important to treat people equally and as individuals with unique needs and preferences.That said, it's also true that men and women tend to embody different behaviors in the workplace.