For me, any outside source or force asking me when I'll get better is going to be met with irritation. But if I do the asking, if I wonder -- myself -- what healing or recovery might look like, then it becomes a very different question.
You know better than to say something like, "He/she is in a better place" or "You're lucky you have other children," don't you? Here's a list of other well-meaning blunders reported by bereaved parents that have made us squirm.
"Back-to-School Specials!!!" scream the store placards. They are a reminder that now might be the time to get a discounted backpack for my younger daughter, but more potently, they nudge me back to my default: The bereaved mom aching for the child who will always be dead.
In parenting there is no clear victory, but as long as you're fully invested in your children and trying your best, you will be at peace with yourself no matter how long -- or short -- your children are in this world.