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Child Loss

The Miracle On 34th Street- 1 Year Later

Patrice Bendig | Posted 12.09.2014 | Good News
Patrice Bendig

The most appropriate thing I can do to commemorate Weston's transplant anniversary is to urge others to be part of a miracle for a family waiting for the life-saving gift of organ and tissue donation.

There's No Strong like Preemie Strong

Jennifer Canvasser | Posted 11.18.2014 | Parents
Jennifer Canvasser

What is it like to be a preemie? What is it like to be alone in a plastic box for days, weeks or even months, when developmentally, you're still supposed to be engulfed in your mother's warmth? What is it like to be forced to breathe, eat and live when your body is not physically ready?

The Other Quiet Mom

Nancy Davis Johnson | Posted 12.15.2014 | Parents
Nancy Davis Johnson

Stories that end with "and then they couldn't find the baby's heartbeat" generally stop a conversation. So these recollections tend to be kept inside, ratcheting up the aloneness that feels like it can smother a mother who has lost a child.

Three Is The Magic Number

Lauren Stevens | Posted 12.09.2014 | Parents
Lauren Stevens

The doctor left the room, and I went in to use the bathroom, the sound of the woman in the adjoining room's healthy baby's heartbeat echoing off the cold tile.

Once My Child, Always My Child

Jennifer Canvasser | Posted 11.26.2014 | Parents
Jennifer Canvasser

Micah is my son and always will be. I will never "move on." I love Micah just as much as I love Zachary. Micah is gone from our arms, but not from our family.

Talking To Children About Pregnancy And Infant Loss

Tara Shafer | Posted 11.24.2014 | Parents
Tara Shafer

I still think a lot about that searing winter when the dead and the living were juxtaposed, each clamoring impossibly to be understood. I remember the white-hot grief and the blunt-force trauma of my sudden loss, and also the sweet presence of my little boy, playing with blocks.

What NOT To Say After Miscarriage or Child Loss

Seleni Institute | Posted 09.30.2014 | Parents
Seleni Institute

When someone you love loses a baby, you may feel helpless and uncertain about how to respond. And you might not get it right. If you've never experienced such a loss yourself, how can you know what your friend or family member needs at this terrible time?

Do You Have to Be Reasonable When You're Grieving?

Megan Devine | Posted 09.16.2014 | Healthy Living
Megan Devine

I could pretend, but that pretending cost me. I could be reasonable, but telling that lie was exhausting. Now, when I read about grief, when I attend conferences that talk about grief, I think about those early days. I think about being reasonable. I think of how ridiculous that is.

10 Things Parents Of Preemies Need To Know From Day One In The NICU

Jennifer Canvasser | Posted 09.15.2014 | Parents
Jennifer Canvasser

Do not let anyone intimidate or shame you for being your baby's advocate. You are not annoying. You are not stupid. You are not going to jeopardize your baby's care. Your baby needs you to speak up for him/her, respectfully.

5 Things My Son Is Learning From His Father

Jennifer Canvasser | Posted 08.12.2014 | Parents
Jennifer Canvasser

Fatherhood is full of ups and downs; it's rarely a smooth ride. Life has thrown my husband, Noah, some of fatherhood's most joyful and tragic experiences.

When Mother's Milk Was All I Had to Give

Jennifer Canvasser | Posted 08.09.2014 | Parents
Jennifer Canvasser

The one way I could nurture my fragile babies was by giving them my milk. Making milk was my one source of empowerment, when all of my motherly duties and responsibilities were taken away and given to clinicians.

Armchair Analysis: Was Your Relationship 'Good' Enough to Warrant So Much Grief?

Megan Devine | Posted 07.23.2014 | Healthy Living
Megan Devine

If you're wrestling with what to share or not share about your relationship, here's what you should know: The reality is, everyone has imperfect relationships.

What I Really Want To Say When You Ask Why My Son's Hair Is Long

Jennifer Canvasser | Posted 07.12.2014 | Parents
Jennifer Canvasser

Before you judge the mother of a little boy with long hair, take a step back and consider the bigger picture. What has this family been through? What has this little boy been through?

The Nurse Who Stood Beside Me Through The Very Worst

Heather Spohr | Posted 07.09.2014 | Parents
Heather Spohr

We begged and plead and prayed and clutched hands for the worst three hours of my life. And when the doctors told us there was nothing more they could do, she helped pick me up off the ground when I collapsed.

Your Life Is the Lab: Toxic Chemicals in 5 Unexpected Places

Jennifer Canvasser | Posted 06.14.2014 | Parents
Jennifer Canvasser

When your child has a chronic health condition that threatens his life and well-being, you gain a sharp perspective on what's important in life.

If It Isn't Meant to 'Cure' Grief, What Good Is Therapy?

Megan Devine | Posted 06.03.2014 | Healthy Living
Megan Devine

A good therapist is a wonderful thing: They know that there is nothing about you that's wrong. They know their role is to listen and validate, to come up alongside you and provide support.

A Letter to People in Pain: The Early Days of Grief Are a World of Their Own

Megan Devine | Posted 05.12.2014 | Healthy Living
Megan Devine

If you're here, in the early days, and the universe has just split open and everything has changed, I'm sorry you're here. Others have come before you, but that doesn't really matter now.

Grief and Healing: Will I Ever Recover?

Megan Devine | Posted 04.23.2014 | Healthy Living
Megan Devine

For me, any outside source or force asking me when I'll get better is going to be met with irritation. But if I do the asking, if I wonder -- myself -- what healing or recovery might look like, then it becomes a very different question.

9 Things Not To Say To A Bereaved Parent

Suzanne Leigh | Posted 04.23.2014 | Parents
Suzanne Leigh

You know better than to say something like, "He/she is in a better place" or "You're lucky you have other children," don't you? Here's a list of other well-meaning blunders reported by bereaved parents that have made us squirm.

Why Back-To-School Season Is So Painful For Me

Suzanne Leigh | Posted 10.05.2013 | Parents
Suzanne Leigh

"Back-to-School Specials!!!" scream the store placards. They are a reminder that now might be the time to get a discounted backpack for my younger daughter, but more potently, they nudge me back to my default: The bereaved mom aching for the child who will always be dead.

What I Know About Fatherhood After Losing A Child

Mike Spohr | Posted 08.14.2013 | Parents
Mike Spohr

In parenting there is no clear victory, but as long as you're fully invested in your children and trying your best, you will be at peace with yourself no matter how long -- or short -- your children are in this world.

Don't be afraid to ask the hard questions

Catriona Harris | Posted 08.14.2012 | Parents
Catriona Harris

A stillbirth is defined as a loss of pregnancy after 20 weeks. It was something I didn't realize happened with modern medicine.