I loved my mother and thought I, too, would be a mother. But instead, I am closed off, with no woman in the past to look back to and no daughter in the future to look towards.
I know what some of you may say: Have a baby on your own; adopt; foster. And a few of you may say: Sorry, lady, you should have thought of that earlier. You're just too old. But I want to be a mother.
Girls are taught that motherhood is a desired natural state; a state which is a normal progression in our lives as females. Even today, the emphasis is on motherhood first, career second, and that is wrong. Motherhood doesn't define womanhood.
There are two questions I get asked with an annoying regularity. They come as a pair.
Let's talk for a minute about parenthood. Or, more accurately, non-parenthood. I'm talking here about a woman's right to choose. Not her right to choose to stay pregnant, but her right to choose to never get pregnant at all.
If you go to the zoo with children, it's going to be all about them. It's pretty much the same with a man. Alone, I can commune with the polar bears all day.
My issue with young people deciding not have children has far less to do with any societal obligations they may or may not have. It's way more personal: Yes, you may count me among those dumb-clucks who worry that young people just don't know what they're missing and when and if they do realize it, it'll be too late.
I know you are tired, moms. I know you are overworked, I know you want to tell us for how long you were in labor and I feel for you, I do. But please stop scaring me, because if I do decide to join you, apparently these will be my last days of solitary, flavored yogurt-eating, judgment-free fun.
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I imagine that it must be hard to watch a friend get swallowed whole by a completely foreign set of experiences. Since I'm the one getting swallowed, I can't know what that's like -- but I can offer a few (entirely unsolicited) dos and don'ts to those who have not, as yet, procreated.
I know what you're thinking. I can read it on your face... the distracted smile, the unconvincing nod, the slightly furrowed brow... You're trying to figure out what's wrong with me.
The moment I became an aunt for the first time was the most meaningful and fulfilling time of my life. But as much as I felt this milestone had changed everything for me, no one else beyond my closest friends and family seemed to notice. No one spoke to me as an aunt.
Are parents who have large families because they believe it is a divine commandment or because they take pride in their family heritage any less capable of creating "life-enhancing relationships" with their children than, say, educated professionals who wait until there are financially stable?
I could not be happier for loved ones who choose to become parents. For some it is their true calling. But for others, myself and my husband included, it isn't. If you are our friends and loved ones, be happy for us. Because we are.
A generation ago, women who did not marry and/or have children by age 40 grieved and moved on. But today, with the advancement of assisted reproductive technology, women are no longer given permission to move on.
I felt having a baby was a natural process, like growing old -- you didn't have to plan for grey hair and wrinkles for them to appear.
Here's the real truth: Marriage and kids are not for everybody and we should all stop acting like they are.
I learned that if I'm grateful to be here, I have to accept the consequences of what it took to save me.
After years of unsuccessful fertility treatments, three miscarriages, and a husband unwilling to consider other family-building options, Shannon is considering giving up her dream of having another child. She wanted to know if she would ever get over her childlessness.
"You're going to hate me for saying this," says my good friend, a married mom of three, as we stand on the beach and look toward the ocean. "But you'r...
While Friedan set out to help make women equal among men, Gurley Brown set out to make single women equal among all women.
I've always imagined a life filled with travelling at the drop of a hat. This doesn't mean I'm less of a woman or that I'm broken; it simply means I'm sure of what I want and destined for a life without diapers.
When it comes to the "biological urge," it's time to shift our thinking to reflect what is real.
I was both intrigued and annoyed by a New York Times piece this morning about the supposed pressure gay men are feeling to have children. The premise starts off well, but the piece seems to assume that having children is the be all and end all for everyone, gay and straight.
There are many ways to mother, just as there are ways to find fault with women who are not mothers.
