When you truly love someone you're not interested in possessing the person or keeping him or her in your clutches because you're afraid of losing the relationship. Instead, you respect your partner's autonomy and spirit.
We want to plan. We want to control. We want to be ready and look our best and come out on top. But controlling for what is coming is no guarantee you are going to make the most of what comes -- in fact, it's probably going to hinder our ability to get the most out of it.