One hot night in the summer of 2012, I was standing in my bathroom looking at myself in the mirror with roommate. It was three in the morning, he was a little hammered and we were taking inventory on our looks, as gay men do at that hour on a Wednesday night.

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I can't remember who first showed me how to cure hiccups. I know it was late in life, sometime in my late thirties. The cure came too late to help me. But, ever since then I have been enormously grateful.

Yep, Sunday is Mother's Day. But no one will show off what a loving, beautiful mom you have quite like the 10 worst TV moms of all-time.

I cannot tell you how many times I have passed by one of your magnificent fashion clubs -- the seizure-inducing bass thumping, the lighting dimmed just so (what would you call that? Disco lighting? Marvelous!), the stifling scent of the latest Diddy fragrance coiling around shoppers.

In an effort to help young girls who are bullied, B'Oréal has launched Tolérance, a new line of junior cosmetics that gives young girls the confidence they need to stop bullying where it starts: their inferior appearance and demeanor.

Louise. Who is she? Well, for starters, she is a housewife living in Greenwich Village, New York City with her demanding husband and two children who are, by the way, both seven years old--but not twins. Her days are filled with mundane chores. She's a pleaser.

The president reviews the superlatives of the graduating class. One student patented a way to make shoes out of used tea bags; another was involved in brokering a Kardashian Twitter truce; and, yet another was at work on the unabridged history of the Falkland Islands. It is all so inspiring.

Each week I begrudgingly sift through my spam email folder, verifying that nothing of importance inadvertently landed there. Occasionally I get a surprise.

The appropriate reaction to mercury rising is dread and anxiety. The weather is not your friend, or if it is, it's that friend that "accidentally" tells everyone your most unflattering secrets. In this case: flabby arms.

My longest relationship has been with commitment phobia. But I seriously do think I could get married if I could do it with a month-to-month lease.

The best approach is to stare blankly straight ahead at a fixed point roughly 10-12 inches above the other passengers' heads. If you're feeling slightly more adventurous -- after all, you are on vacation -- you can always pretend to read one of the text-heavy advertisements over and over.