No. 7: "I don't get you." Right. That's why you're not together anymore. No need to drive that home any longer.
To forgive ourselves is no easy task. We have to rediscover our innocence. If we have the opportunity, as children, to have parents who can say that they are sorry for things, then we learn to forgive them and forgive ourselves.
On a surface level, practicing Asteya can mean literally not stealing money out of someone's pocket. It can also mean not hoarding materials you don't need, mindlessly consuming natural resources, coveting other people's possessions, or appropriating other people's ideas.
Communication is the ultimate human connection. If you follow the "silverback tips" that I learned, you'll maximize your chances of successfully establishing rapport with others.
We always want the best for our children. And part of my philosophy in life is to recognize that all we can do for our children is to provide the conditions and context for them to grow and face the challenges that they came into this world with.
Refusal to compromise is widely considered to be the root cause of political polarization, business battles, and divorce wars. But refusal to compromise isn't actually the cause of these problems. It's merely a symptom. The real problem is unwillingness to tolerate uncertainty.
It's often said that parents of children with special needs divorce at a higher rate than the general population. So, I asked John Gray: What do you think are the causes and what suggestions can you give to these parents?
I know it can be scary to confront and follow through on difficult conversations but there is freedom on the other side of them. Here are steps to having a tough conversation with someone.
We all know that we need to say "no" about 1,000 times more than we say "yes." But we don't. And we pay the price, with over-cluttered calendars, over-saturated psyches, chronically-elevated stress hormones, and tightly-clenched shoulders that never quite sink away from our earlobes.
It's so easy to take things personally. Instead, the next time you notice yourself feeling defensive or like you're a failure or that you're not good enough, practice using a buffer phrase.
Normally, when thinking about communication, we think about verbal communication or some kind of physical communication. However, sometimes the best communication skill is to know when to take a time out.
The blessing of a child can challenge a relationship. When the child has special needs, these challenges grow exponentially. With the right tools, parents of children with special needs can learn additional ways to relate to each other that will strengthen their connection and love,
Argument and debate are going to happen, even in the best of partnerships, but it doesn't have to mean doomsday or that you're not compatible. In fact, I have found some conflict can actually be a stepping stone to a more honest, intimate place and can foster better communication.
If you say what's true for you, and say it clearly and kindly, you get one kind of result. But if you use a sharp tongue, speak falsely, exaggerate, or leave out the parts that are most important to you, you get different results.
For many people, the Christmas and New Year holidays have been called "the hap-hap-happiest time of the year." For many, however, as we all know, they are among the loneliest.
Who remembers what the naked protesters were protesting? When you work on Capitol Hill, you get used to being protested. During my ten years there, I was yelled at, sworn at and spit on.
It's no secret that one of the biggest challenges a parent faces after divorce is communicating with your children.
Perception is reality to the average human. That is deeper than it sounds. It means that every single person has their own version of "reality" or what they would call the "truth" based on their perceptions.
With time and a little practice, you will find yourself "speaking wisely" without consciously thinking about it. You might be amazed at the powerful, assertive ways you can communicate within the frame of these six guidelines.
You're communicating well when your partner actually hears the message you mean for him or her to hear. This doesn't always happen, which can be a source of frustration for both of you.
I wanted to share some practical one-liners for those times when you are caught off-guard. Many of us feel like a deer in headlights when someone says something insulting, hurtful, or presumptuous, and we have no comeback prepared. Here are some ideas for you.
It's not possible for the weather to be 70 degrees with a light breeze every day, and it's not possible for relationships to go smoothly all the time. There are going to be glitches, and we can get better at dealing with them.
Psychotherapists often advise their clients to share their feelings with the important people in their life. Is this good advice?
Consciously listen with a spirit of seeking to understand and notice the changes in the effectiveness of your communication.
We can't possibly know what is going on inside someone else's head and thoughts -- even though we know someone really well. It's always better to check. And the best way to check is by asking questions.
