To forgive ourselves is no easy task. We have to rediscover our innocence. If we have the opportunity, as children, to have parents who can say that they are sorry for things, then we learn to forgive them and forgive ourselves.
On a surface level, practicing Asteya can mean literally not stealing money out of someone's pocket. It can also mean not hoarding materials you don't need, mindlessly consuming natural resources, coveting other people's possessions, or appropriating other people's ideas.
We always want the best for our children. And part of my philosophy in life is to recognize that all we can do for our children is to provide the conditions and context for them to grow and face the challenges that they came into this world with.
Refusal to compromise is widely considered to be the root cause of political polarization, business battles, and divorce wars. But refusal to compromise isn't actually the cause of these problems. It's merely a symptom. The real problem is unwillingness to tolerate uncertainty.
It's often said that parents of children with special needs divorce at a higher rate than the general population. So, I asked John Gray: What do you think are the causes and what suggestions can you give to these parents?
We all know that we need to say "no" about 1,000 times more than we say "yes." But we don't. And we pay the price, with over-cluttered calendars, over-saturated psyches, chronically-elevated stress hormones, and tightly-clenched shoulders that never quite sink away from our earlobes.
Normally, when thinking about communication, we think about verbal communication or some kind of physical communication. However, sometimes the best communication skill is to know when to take a time out.
The blessing of a child can challenge a relationship. When the child has special needs, these challenges grow exponentially. With the right tools, parents of children with special needs can learn additional ways to relate to each other that will strengthen their connection and love,
Argument and debate are going to happen, even in the best of partnerships, but it doesn't have to mean doomsday or that you're not compatible. In fact, I have found some conflict can actually be a stepping stone to a more honest, intimate place and can foster better communication.
If you say what's true for you, and say it clearly and kindly, you get one kind of result. But if you use a sharp tongue, speak falsely, exaggerate, or leave out the parts that are most important to you, you get different results.
Perception is reality to the average human. That is deeper than it sounds. It means that every single person has their own version of "reality" or what they would call the "truth" based on their perceptions.
With time and a little practice, you will find yourself "speaking wisely" without consciously thinking about it. You might be amazed at the powerful, assertive ways you can communicate within the frame of these six guidelines.
I wanted to share some practical one-liners for those times when you are caught off-guard. Many of us feel like a deer in headlights when someone says something insulting, hurtful, or presumptuous, and we have no comeback prepared. Here are some ideas for you.
It's not possible for the weather to be 70 degrees with a light breeze every day, and it's not possible for relationships to go smoothly all the time. There are going to be glitches, and we can get better at dealing with them.
We can't possibly know what is going on inside someone else's head and thoughts -- even though we know someone really well. It's always better to check. And the best way to check is by asking questions.