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Controlling Behavior

Surrender Your Addiction to Stress

Judith Orloff MD | Posted 03.26.2014 | Healthy Living
Judith Orloff MD

Here is a surprisingly simple solution: To let go of physical stress, let your body do what it was designed to do -- move.

Divorce Confidential: Coping With an Impossible Spouse During and After Divorce

Caroline Choi | Posted 04.15.2014 | Divorce
Caroline Choi

Divorce is already a traumatic experience for most individuals and their families. Dealing with a toxic spouse who has it out for you makes the divorce process even worse by dragging out issues that could easily be resolved with compromise and agreements outside of the courtroom.

Learning to Trust Again

Margaret Paul, Ph.D. | Posted 02.12.2014 | Healthy Living
Margaret Paul, Ph.D.

Now, instead of focusing on trusting others, I focus on trusting myself -- my feelings, my inner knowing, my intuition, my spiritual guidance. This lets me know immediately whether or not I can trust another.

Why You Keep Attracting Unavailable People

Margaret Paul, Ph.D. | Posted 07.25.2013 | Healthy Living
Margaret Paul, Ph.D.

I hear it over and over: "Are there any available men?" "Why are all the women I attract unavailable?" There are two issues that often contribute to this situation.

7 Ways To Reignite That Special Spark

Margaret Paul, Ph.D. | Posted 07.15.2013 | Healthy Living
Margaret Paul, Ph.D.

Connection with your partner is vital for your well-being and the well-being of the relationship. If you find that any of these suggestions are hard for you, then do some inner work to discover what is in the way.

8 Ways To Let Go Of Your Need To Control

Ronald Alexander, Ph.D. | Posted 06.21.2013 | Healthy Living
Ronald Alexander, Ph.D.

Whenever we're facing an unpleasant or alarming situation, we're likely to become anxious and try to figure out what we can do instead of becoming quiet and seeking new ideas or revisiting what worked in the past.

7 Reasons You Might Have Fallen Out of Love With Your Partner

Margaret Paul, Ph.D. | Posted 06.05.2013 | Healthy Living
Margaret Paul, Ph.D.

Unless you are able to learn from and heal your fears, you may get stuck in this negative pattern. Love quickly vanishes in the face of this closed, protective behavior.

The 7-Step Guide to Misery

Margaret Paul, Ph.D. | Posted 05.18.2013 | Healthy Living
Margaret Paul, Ph.D.

Why would someone make the choice to be miserable? Because it is often a way of getting attention and of attempting to get someone else to be responsible for them. If this is what you want, here is a roadmap to make sure you accomplish your goal!

Is Your Relationship System Working Well?

Margaret Paul, Ph.D. | Posted 05.05.2013 | Healthy Living
Margaret Paul, Ph.D.

All relationships have a system. Some work well and some don't. Since I have been working with relationships for the last 44 years, I've become very attuned to what kind of a system two people have between them.

The Secret To Feeling More In Control

Jennifer Hamady | Posted 03.13.2013 | Healthy Living
Jennifer Hamady

If you're struggling -- if you're feeling out of, or the need for, control -- it's less likely that something's wrong with the object of your desires, and more likely that there's something you've been unwilling to give up in order get what it is you say you want.

Relationship Advice: Should I Tell Him How I Really Feel?

Margaret Paul, Ph.D. | Posted 12.24.2012 | Healthy Living
Margaret Paul, Ph.D.

Psychotherapists often advise their clients to share their feelings with the important people in their life. Is this good advice?

The 2 Things You Can Totally Control In Life

Posted 10.31.2012 | OWN

By DeVon Franklin Hollywood studio executive and the author of Produced by Faith, DeVon Franklin explains how you can prevent the anxiety of belie...

Are You In A Relationship For The Right Reasons?

Margaret Paul, Ph.D. | Posted 12.09.2012 | Healthy Living
Margaret Paul, Ph.D.

When two people come together because they want to learn together, grow together, heal together, share their time and companionship, and share their love and passion, they have a good chance of creating a lasting, loving relationship.

Love More By Caring... Less

Posted 11.16.2012 | OWN

By Martha Beck How do you get your nearest and dearest to change their behavior? Simple: Stop giving a damn what they do, says Martha Beck. ...

18 Relationship Red Flags

Margaret Paul, Ph.D. | Posted 11.19.2012 | Healthy Living
Margaret Paul, Ph.D.

Over the many years of working with thousands of people looking to find a committed relationship, I've discovered numerous red flags that may indicate future problems.

'How Can I Make Others Hear and Understand Me?'

Margaret Paul, Ph.D. | Posted 10.20.2012 | Healthy Living
Margaret Paul, Ph.D.

Accepting our lack of control over how others see and treat us is a major challenge for many people. It's important to realize that others often treat us the way we treat ourselves.

How To Effectively Communicate In Your Relationship

Margaret Paul, Ph.D. | Posted 09.30.2012 | Healthy Living
Margaret Paul, Ph.D.

"Isn't withdrawing from conflict just running away?" you might ask. Yes, it is. But there is a huge difference between withdrawing and disengaging. The difference is about your intention.

How to Tell if It's Real Love

Margaret Paul, Ph.D. | Posted 09.17.2012 | Healthy Living
Margaret Paul, Ph.D.

We all have a wounded self -- our ego -- that we developed as we were growing up, to protect us from pain. Our wounded self becomes activated when we get scared -- scared of rejection, of engulfment, of being hurt.

Resolving Relationship Problems by Letting Go of Problem-Solving

Margaret Paul, Ph.D. | Posted 09.08.2012 | Healthy Living
Margaret Paul, Ph.D.

"We never seem to be able to solve any problems," Kaylee told me in a phone session. "Every time we sit down to solve a problem, we end up fighting."

How To Overcome Emotional Dependency And Create The Space You Need

Margaret Paul, Ph.D. | Posted 07.02.2012 | Healthy Living
Margaret Paul, Ph.D.

In many relationships, one person complains about not having enough time with his or her partner, while the other complains about needing space. Find out how to resolve this conflict.

'Why Are My Partners Always Needy?'

Margaret Paul, Ph.D. | Posted 05.08.2012 | Healthy Living
Margaret Paul, Ph.D.

A patient of mine realized that if he wanted to attract a loving and caring woman who took responsibility for herself, he would have to learn to be loving and caring toward himself.

The Power of Kindness in Your Relationships

Margaret Paul, Ph.D. | Posted 04.17.2012 | Healthy Living
Margaret Paul, Ph.D.

Which is more important to you in your relationships -- to be kind or to control?

Resistance: What You Judge Won't Budge

Margaret Paul, Ph.D. | Posted 04.04.2012 | Healthy Living
Margaret Paul, Ph.D.

How often do you tell yourself that you are wrong, bad, inadequate, unworthy, a jerk, stupid and so on? I've found, in the many years I've been counseling, that most people are frequently inwardly judgmental.

Your Children Need a Happy Parent

Margaret Paul, Ph.D. | Posted 02.08.2012 | Parents
Margaret Paul, Ph.D.

No matter how much time or how many material things you give to your children, if your presence with them is tense instead of joyful and peaceful, they will not be getting what they need from you.

The 7-Step Guide To Ruining Your Relationship

Margaret Paul, Ph.D. | Posted 01.26.2012 | Healthy Living
Margaret Paul, Ph.D.

Congratulations! You have succeeded in creating a terrible relationship! Now you can miserably and righteously leave your partner and do the whole thing again!