Connection with your partner is vital for your well-being and the well-being of the relationship. If you find that any of these suggestions are hard for you, then do some inner work to discover what is in the way.
Whenever we're facing an unpleasant or alarming situation, we're likely to become anxious and try to figure out what we can do instead of becoming quiet and seeking new ideas or revisiting what worked in the past.
Why would someone make the choice to be miserable? Because it is often a way of getting attention and of attempting to get someone else to be responsible for them. If this is what you want, here is a roadmap to make sure you accomplish your goal!
All relationships have a system. Some work well and some don't. Since I have been working with relationships for the last 44 years, I've become very attuned to what kind of a system two people have between them.
If you're struggling -- if you're feeling out of, or the need for, control -- it's less likely that something's wrong with the object of your desires, and more likely that there's something you've been unwilling to give up in order get what it is you say you want.
When two people come together because they want to learn together, grow together, heal together, share their time and companionship, and share their love and passion, they have a good chance of creating a lasting, loving relationship.
We all have a wounded self -- our ego -- that we developed as we were growing up, to protect us from pain. Our wounded self becomes activated when we get scared -- scared of rejection, of engulfment, of being hurt.
How often do you tell yourself that you are wrong, bad, inadequate, unworthy, a jerk, stupid and so on? I've found, in the many years I've been counseling, that most people are frequently inwardly judgmental.
It is vitally important that you have a sense of passion and purpose in your life separate from your children. And it is vitally important that you learn to define your own sense of worth rather than making your children's behavior responsible.