I hoard emails. My reason for hoarding them is simple: I might need them some day. Emails serve as written proof of a conversation. This is helpful for a number of reasons, from memory nudging and legal/historical documentation, to spousal argument proof (See, hon, I did tell you my Aunt Rose was coming to town).
Mark was a smoker when we met 19 years ago, and he's smoked ever since. I wish he didn't, but I can't convince him to stop. The first boy I ever fell for, at 17, was also a smoker. It went along with his scruffy, adorable 'bad boy' vibe. I loved those smoky kisses. Now I'm 59, and what was irresistibly edgy in a 17-year-old boy seems idiotic and self-destructive in a man pushing 60.
When a relationship hits a rough patch, it can be easy to think pessimistically. Thinking optimistically isn't about rainbows and unicorns, rather, it's about being realistic. Optimistic thinkers are able to identify solutions that haven't yet been tried. In addition, optimistic thinkers zero in on what they can control, influence or leverage.
The consequences of an affair may have more to do with how each partner responds to it than the affair itself. As many couples have discovered, even in the midst of the most painful circumstances, when there is a shared intention to heal, repair and take responsibility, what may have previously seemed impossible can become a reality.
You're in a job you find unfulfilling and it seems that, day by day, your confidence takes a hit. If 30 is the new 20, what's that make 25? I know it's easy to get frustrated, easier still to doubt yourself in the midst of uncertainty, but know this: It can all work out, provided you have the will and the patience to make it so.