For any mother or father to-be, becoming a parent brings a tidal wave of unexpected feelings, normal insecurities and new opportunities. Adjusting to this new identity offers the opportunity to deepen your relationship with your partner.
A spouse that has gone through attachment trauma needs a strong relationship more than ever. Avoid allowing a trauma to tear your marriage apart. Seek help from a professional and begin working towards a stronger relationship for both of you.
While it may seem counter-intuitive, the most effective way to "win" with respect to this common scenario of desiring more warmth and affection would sound something more like an effort to lose or to at least pitch to the other's strengths.