It's very hard to feel positive about dating if you're burned out. You don't have to deny that you're having a hard time. In fact, it's helpful to validate your own emotional experience, rather than beat yourself up for feeling down.
Chances are you've been there before. Across from a guy in a suit that costs more than you're unemployed tush can hope to make in a month, or on the very distant end of an I'm-not-interested text message. It's hideous, unfriendly and usually has bad table manners. It's called rejection.
If I could offer my best tips for how to realize your dream (or anything for that matter) -- whether it is writing your memoir, shedding those 20 pounds, or living in a clutter-free home -- it would be these.
Next time you get a college rejection letter in the mail, or a part in a school play as a background character instead of a lead, or the opposite summer internship from the one that you desired, consider how a different path may benefit you.
It takes courage to know who we are and what we stand for. It takes courage to act from the core of our own being -- our core essence. Learning how to deal effectively with rejection strengthens our sense of self and builds our resilience when confronting life's challenges.
Take in your college's mascot and school pride. Take in the feel and style of the campus. Take in the relationships and friendships you've built here. Take in that feeling of how right it feels to be here... because things will work out how they're supposed to. Trust me.
Rejection tends to turn us inward in a negative way -- causing us to feel unworthy, flawed, not good enough, unlovable, frustrated, confused, angry, sad, etc. -- which can get us painfully bogged down in paralyzing self criticism.
It doesn't matter if it was a long-term relationship, a short-lived cyber affair, an unrequited love or a good friends-with-benefits arrangement. If you cared and connected, you feel a deep and painful void where there was once laughter and affection. It's like experiencing a small death.