You can't outrun grief, I'll tell you that for sure. It is an inconvenient truth if ever there was one. Is it better today than it was three years ago when I got that nightmarish, surreal phone call?

She looked at me and asked if I had anything to say. It all came out at once; I burst into tears, unable to speak. She apologized for the years she was hard on me, saying she only wanted me to be successful. It didn't matter what words she used. I understood her meaning, and forgave her.

But there is also a truth, the "good news," which far fewer of us have experienced, which is that there is an end to suffering. Not an escape, but an end. And it doesn't come at death; it comes when we face our suffering, face our fears, and address them head on, with support, and move through them.

Please remember you are not alone. There are millions of other lives all around you. Each a person feeling happiness and sadness, each a person you may have the opportunity to meet, to know, to share a burden with, to like and/or to love.

Dealing with death is hard, but when it is a young person who dies, it is even harder. It goes against the course of nature and acts as a bitter reminder that we live in an imperfect world.

I have been told by very wise people that I have to make friends with Death. I believe they are right. But I have not yet been able.

What makes it so difficult to grieve our children is that when they are lost, we are lost. Hope waning, so, too, is our wonder, our gaiety, our reveling in the miracle of life, the promise of tomorrow.