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Defensiveness

The One Phrase We Should Stop Using

Linda Bloom LCSW and Charlie Bloom MSW | Posted 07.18.2014 | Healthy Living
Linda Bloom LCSW and Charlie Bloom MSW

If you've ever been on the receiving end of these words, you know that the last thing that you feel like doing upon hearing them is to drop your guard and open your heart. Ironically, that's probably exactly what the person delivering these words is trying to get you to do.

The Power of Vulnerability

Christian de la Huerta | Posted 07.06.2014 | Healthy Living
Christian de la Huerta

Although it may seem counterintuitive, authentic, vulnerable communication has great power. When we make ourselves open and vulnerable, behaving in a way that extends and elicits respect, that tends to generate the same in the other.

The Major Component Of Communication We're Often Forgetting

Linda Bloom LCSW and Charlie Bloom MSW | Posted 03.22.2014 | Healthy Living
Linda Bloom LCSW and Charlie Bloom MSW

Old habits don't die easily, but they do eventually dissolve, although the process usually takes longer and requires more practice than we think it should. Along the way, however, we get to cultivate other necessary qualities and strengths that serve us greatly, not only in our relationships, but in all areas of our lives.

10 Friendship Rules to Live By

Carlin Flora | Posted 01.23.2014 | Women
Carlin Flora

Over the years, I've learned a few things about friendship. Here are my top 10 friendship rules to live by.

Effective Leadership: How to Not Take Things Personally

Catherine Chen, Ph.D. | Posted 11.07.2013 | Business
Catherine Chen, Ph.D.

Effective leadership is hard. It's a fine balance between making progress, managing expectations, and being heard. When it comes to receiving criticism from the boss or a co-worker, no matter how constructive it is, it can sometimes be hard to hear without getting defensive.

How to Stop Being Defensive in Close Relationships

Nancy Colier | Posted 01.23.2014 | Healthy Living
Nancy Colier

The next time the opportunity to know another's experience presents itself, try out what it feels like to listen without strategizing to keep yourself positively positioned -- without defending the story of who you are and what you have or have not done.

I Attracted the Right Person, Now What?

Linda Bloom LCSW and Charlie Bloom MSW | Posted 12.01.2013 | Healthy Living
Linda Bloom LCSW and Charlie Bloom MSW

Listening without judgment and speaking without defensiveness is easier said than done, but with practice, mutual support and the willingness to share responsibility for the relationship that you co-create, you and your mate can create the partnership of your dreams, no matter who they are.

Emotional Intimacy: It Doesn't Just Come Naturally

Linda Bloom LCSW and Charlie Bloom MSW | Posted 11.05.2013 | Healthy Living
Linda Bloom LCSW and Charlie Bloom MSW

The less frustrated and disappointed we feel, the less likely it is that our attempts to create shared emotional closeness will be experienced as criticism by our partner, and consequently, the less likely it will be that they will respond defensively to us.

Are You Just Venting and He Feels Criticized? How You Can Turn This Around

Anat Baniel | Posted 09.24.2013 | Parents
Anat Baniel

To men, your complaining or venting sounds like criticism. There is a way that you can communicate with him without sounding critical: Convert your complaints into very specific, direct requests.

How to Win in the Blame Game

Anat Baniel | Posted 06.24.2013 | Parents
Anat Baniel

It's so easy to take things personally. Instead, the next time you notice yourself feeling defensive or like you're a failure or that you're not good enough, practice using a buffer phrase.

A Quick Fix For Defensiveness

Heidi Grant Halvorson, Ph.D. | Posted 09.30.2011 | Healthy Living
Heidi Grant Halvorson, Ph.D.

I rarely admit this, but I am a very defensive person. I have wanted to do something about it for a long time -- It's not an attractive quality. I'm not proud.