Forgiveness is the gift you give to yourself. It's not for or about the other person. It releases you from the pain of staying bound up in the past. Blaming yourself or your former spouse serves no purpose in reinventing your life. It holds you back from enjoying today.
I made my first marriage all about my ex-husband. I tried to be the person he wanted me to be except what he wanted was always a moving target. Guess what? That's right -- after 19 years of tilting at windmills we became just another divorce statistic.