Sexism, gender-based double standards, and male entitlement are so normalized that girls think sexual assault and violence are just a "part of life" that they have to live with. Not to put too fine a point on it, but this is seriously f***ed up.
Dress codes have less to do with sexy than with social order. They are like sumptuary laws, frequently, unconsciously or not, designed to protect a sexist, frequently racist and homophobic status quo and kids know it.
Holiday dressing is all about stepping up one's style; adding a dash of flash, a higher heel, some sequins and a bold, red lip. But, the plethora of party dress codes has confused legions of ladies. Can one wear fishnets to an office celebration?
Dress codes facilitate abuse, first by enforcing the notion that there is a "right" and a "wrong" way to dress, and that transgressers can and should be punished, and secondly by normalizing the punishment. There is no legitimate reason for this.
We both know is that in every long-term relationship, once in awhile you need to let off steam. We save up the small injustices along the way and four times a year unleash them. The stated reason for the quarrel has nothing to do with what's really going on.
Yesterday I get one of "those" phone calls that parents dread. My daughter had been escorted to the front office by the principal, and was cooling her heels there until a parent could come in and sort stuff out. Her life of crime had begun.
It's simply a fact of modern life that attire, whether in the office, a night on the town, or even a cocktail party, is a lot more informal than it once was. In my book, that's not the end of the world as we know it, nor does it mean you need to follow suit.