We can use emotional and physical triggers to lead us onto a path of discovery. The unwinding and healing of the trauma trail has many steps. Each step taken is an act of power, which also builds self-respect.

Fear of rejection is a big issue for many people -- and it used to be for me, too. I used to be so worried about how others felt about me that I was often anxious in my interactions with them -- always trying to say and do the "right" thing so they would like me or at least think well of me.

We rarely communicate a thought that isn't contaminated in one way or another by some form of pain. Our thought and social life has been compromised by our imperfect interactions, which are grounded in latent animosities.

When painful sensations arise and we can simply meet them with clarity and presence, we can see that pain is just pain. We can listen to pain's message and respond appropriately -- taking good care.

Most of my clients this week had a theme of being stuck in regret. And I laughed to myself because I was actually in the middle of doing the same round of work on myself that I was asking them to do. Since I was so raw in this area, I was even more able to help than usual.

The truth is that the most important thing for our complete and total well-being is to authentically be in touch with our emotions. The ability to let yourself truly feel your feelings is really the key to joy.

The only way to be happy, healthy and whole is to face and deal with the voids you carry in your heart and soul. If something is missing, broken or empty inside of you, there is no person or thing that will fill it. Only you can heal yourself and close the voids.

We always have the right to feel whatever we feel. We also have the right to express anger when we feel hurt or betrayed. However, the real question is not whether you have the right, but whether or not your anger is working for you.

When I'm in emotional pain, I'm a much slower learner. I want to fight the pain, banish its cause, punish its stimulus. Sometimes I remember that the key to loving it is to accept the pain, to surrender to it, become one with it.

The beauty of vulnerability is in its expression. Its power resides in embracing it. By being unafraid to be vulnerable you will shrink shame, make a feast of fear and starve insecurities.

When you are in pain, does it ever seem like nothing else matters except you and your pain? Well, you may not be alone in this feeling.

Crises happen. When life gets messy, and it most reliably does, it is at times harder than hard to keep ourselves upright and unified in the middle of the craziness.

In addition to supporting you in taking necessary steps to heal from loss or to correct abusive situations, I would like to offer a simple, yet radical, invitation: take a moment, by yourself, without fixing or avoiding the pain, and fully open to it.