Taking our attention off of our partner will enable us to embody a higher level of vulnerability and encourage them to them to feel less defensive and consequently more inclined to listen to our concerns and needs with a more conciliatory attitude.

The only things holding us back are our repetitive thoughts of doubt and negativity which, with some determination, can completely turn around into repetitive thoughts of possibility, in which we have sole creative control.

Lately, I have found some new clarity and freedom in realizing that there is a difference between accepting the other person for who and what they are, and honestly concluding that I don't care what they do or say.

With 2013's arrival, much like a gardener using a shovel to prepare for planting (then one day, harvesting), I invite you to explore your faith, facts and fictions with the following questions (shovels) over the weeks and months ahead.

Take a moment now to ponder your definition of a fact. How do you accept something as a fact? Do you take time to verify (through first-hand experience) a fact before you accept a fact to be true? How often do you check facts?

As the season soaks or shrivels expectations, hopes blossom into blessed bliss or dissolve due to daily duress. With seasons officially changing, we enter into a unique 10 days where expectations rapidly climax or crash, awash in faiths, facts or fictions.

What exactly are you incredulous about? People being themselves. Exactly as they've always been, year after year. Why is it so hard to live with the way people are? Because we can't accept it. Because we want them to be different. Surprise! They are still the same. Surprise again! So are we.

The good news is that to the extent that you can change your expectation, you can inoculate yourself against anger. And it's important to do this, because your anger only hurts you!

It's hard to win, but for most people, it's harder to lose. I realized this truth applied to me as I settled into my seat flying from New York to Detroit.

The best things in life come out of change. We don't have to embrace change by diving in to those cold choppy waters headfirst, but if we can start by just dipping our toes in, one foot at a time, before we know it, we'll be well on our way to arriving at our new destination.