As we move into middle age--where the pimples may have been replaced by sunspots but the insecurity is right up there in intensity--there seems a big Empty Next up ahead.

We are so much more than what's on the outside -- so why can't we just accept it and move happily into the next chapter? Why can't we internalize our older face?

Another step in dealing with our changing appearance is confronting the "masks" we employ. Yes, I said employ, not wear. We are not talking about Halloween playthings.

A rigid and inflexible approach to daily life makes people seem well, OLD. To go a step further, I contend that lack of spontaneity not only leads to premature aging but to failure.

The pimples have been replaced by the sunspots, but there are numerous similarities between the age of adolescence and the age of what many of us consider obsolescence.

I was at a friend's 60th birthday party recently and noticed that, far from impaling herself with the cake knife, she was beaming. She hasn't looked this fit in years, and is writing her second book.

It should be pretty clear by now that these IDs are rarely of the self congratulatory variety. More often we use them to scold and judge ourselves. I know mine rarely take a breather.

Many women come to their doctors for other symptoms, but eventually focus on how they feel about the role appearance has or had in their lives. Therapists call this important step the "uh oh moment."

Let everyone else do their Ten Best lists and their Persons of the Year. I say it is time to own up to some of the stuff that is really bugging us.