I didn't choose to cultivate equanimity. It chose me. My experience has taught me that nothing is permanent. Change is inevitable; sometimes it brings pleasure, sometimes pain. While you can't avoid pain, you can choose to suffer less.

Since Christmas, I have tried to slow down my pace. I am trying to take things more in stride, but doing so can be a very difficult job for a driven entrepreneur.

We spoke with the Duers, an all-American family of five living in New York, on how they stay connected, sane, and healthy while juggling family and work responsibilities.

What exactly are you incredulous about? People being themselves. Exactly as they've always been, year after year. Why is it so hard to live with the way people are? Because we can't accept it. Because we want them to be different. Surprise! They are still the same. Surprise again! So are we.

A good teacher can appear in the most unlikely places. This one surprised me more than any other, the child that love created who was revived by a powerful love of his own. It really can be as simple as that, if only we are smart enough to realize it.

Ebenezer Scrooge understood one needs to take care of oneself before it's even possible to take care of anyone else. His problem was that he didn't take the step of investing in his own joy, nourishing his body or his soul, and therefore couldn't be bothered to take care of anyone else.

As opposed to a family scapegoat -- an immediate family member at whom we direct unprocessed anxiety or anger -- a "safe-goat" is a person far enough outside our immediate family system at whom we can direct unprocessed anxiety or anger without inflaming conflicts between present members.

One of life's most difficult situations is when someone you love is no longer present in your life due to disagreements, especially during the holidays.

Just like abstaining from carbs will trim your waist in two weeks, trimming three from your family relationships will decrease your load of "dirty laundry" in the same amount of time. Keep it up between now and New Year's Day, and you'll coast through the holidays like Santa on a sleigh.

If you're not feeling connected to your spouse after work, if family dinner in your house has disintegrated into a chaotic free-for-all, then it's time to make some changes to your evening meal routine.

t's one thing to implement boundaries on your own toward one person or a whole group, but when those boundaries involve others, it is important to calculate each step, think it out, talk it out and try and prepare for any outcome -- good, bad or indifferent.

One potential solution to transforming the holidays from stressful to joyful is the application of identified communication skills that have been researched and shown to facilitate changing difficult relationships.