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Fear of Intimacy

Are You Sacrificing a Perfect Relationship for a Perfect Wedding?

Lisa Firestone | Posted 04.16.2013 | Weddings
Lisa Firestone

The "your day" mentality surrounding the occasion may feel good at first, but it's important not to let the occasion become all about you. Planning the event should always come second to enjoying this time with your partner.

7 Reasons You Might Have Fallen Out of Love With Your Partner

Margaret Paul, Ph.D. | Posted 04.05.2013 | Healthy Living
Margaret Paul, Ph.D.

Unless you are able to learn from and heal your fears, you may get stuck in this negative pattern. Love quickly vanishes in the face of this closed, protective behavior.

The Scariest Thought You'll Have Before Marriage

Sheryl Paul | Posted 02.02.2013 | Weddings
Sheryl Paul

At the very core of it is the fear of loss, the fear that just when you open your heart to loving this person completely, something tragic will occur that will take him away.

The Vital Spark of Hope Springs: The power of a box office flop

Mark Whitwell | Posted 01.30.2013 | Entertainment
Mark Whitwell

For so many people today, that intimacy -- personal and sexual -- seems elusive. The brave new movie Hope Springs (just out on DVD) gives us a look at a marriage in which intimacy is absent.

The Thought You NEVER Want To Have Before Your Wedding

Sheryl Paul | Posted 01.12.2013 | Weddings
Sheryl Paul

I asked if the sadness was past or present and he said "present." Then I asked, "Are there any thoughts that are creating this sadness?" To which he responded, "Just the same one; that I'm in not in love with my bride."

Are You In A Relationship For The Right Reasons?

Margaret Paul, Ph.D. | Posted 12.09.2012 | Healthy Living
Margaret Paul, Ph.D.

When two people come together because they want to learn together, grow together, heal together, share their time and companionship, and share their love and passion, they have a good chance of creating a lasting, loving relationship.

What We Learned About Love

Sheryl Paul | Posted 12.01.2012 | Weddings
Sheryl Paul

I used to be surprised by the number of clients who would share stories about the ways in which grade school peers (including siblings) would taunt, tease, and torture them, but now it's one of the first questions I ask when a client presents with the fear of intimacy.

Does Technology Make Us Afraid Of Intimacy?

Dr. Craig Malkin | Posted 11.23.2012 | Healthy Living
Dr. Craig Malkin

We're all a little anxious about intimacy, aren't we? After all, letting people in is inherently risky. Which means that even though we won't all go to extremes, everyone's at risk for the occasional retreat -- and technology offers plenty of places to hide.

What Does the Popularity of 50 Shades of Grey Say About Our Sexuality?

Lisa Firestone | Posted 11.17.2012 | Healthy Living
Lisa Firestone

admit, I have not read 50 Shades of Grey. Because of that, I wouldn't pretend to know what either the storyline or the writing style says about female sexuality.

Are You Tricking Yourself Out of Love?

Lisa Firestone | Posted 10.21.2012 | Healthy Living
Lisa Firestone

To be able to recognize and separate from destructive voices, we must first recognize that many thoughts we regard as our own point of view may not really be representative of our true self.

Love And Anxiety

Sheryl Paul | Posted 08.18.2012 | Healthy Living
Sheryl Paul

In the end, fear is fear, and we either accept the task of working with it consciously and diligently or we walk away from loving, solid relationships with the erroneous belief that "It just didn't feel right. If it was right, I wouldn't have to work so hard."

Crying Saved My Life

Erin Joy Henry | Posted 07.23.2012 | Women
Erin Joy Henry

Crying was for the weak girls who couldn't be alone and needed boys to carry their bags for them. Crying was for the girls who sat out from P.E. because they had their periods and were too scared to participate in the game of life. Or so I thought.

Why You're Still Thinking About Sex With Your Ex

Sheryl Paul | Posted 04.17.2012 | Weddings
Sheryl Paul

From the beginning, her heart and mind and body were still attached (addicted to) the jerk. Equating sex with love, she was completely convinced that she would never feel in love with her husband.

5 Strategies For Dealing With A Partner's Fear Of Intimacy

Lisa Firestone | Posted 04.07.2012 | Healthy Living
Lisa Firestone

As a therapist, I often hear couples complain that whenever one partner tries to get close, the other pulls away. It's a painful reality that love isn't always as easy to give and receive as we'd like to think.

How Your Need For Love Can Ruin Your Marriage

Sheryl Paul | Posted 03.30.2012 | Weddings
Sheryl Paul

We may have waged a war on drugs but we havent even begun to dismantle the rampant addiction to love that seeps into every crack of mainstream culture.

The Biggest Wedding Day Myth

Sheryl Paul | Posted 03.05.2012 | Weddings
Sheryl Paul

But there is one belief that is talked about even less than the others: that at the wedding day, the relationship itself is supposed to be at its height of ease, love, and workability.

The #1 Thing That Can Sabotage Your Engagement

Sheryl Paul | Posted 02.07.2012 | Weddings
Sheryl Paul

Until I learned how to challenge fear's arguments, I was a helpless pawn under its rule, a victim in a dark forest. It was, in short, misery.

Top 10 WORST Reasons To Break Off Your Engagement

Sheryl Paul | Posted 02.05.2012 | Weddings
Sheryl Paul

Fear's entire mission in life is to keep you safe from the risk of loving. It sees love as a dangerous cesspool where the invisible sea creatures lurk beneath the dark surface, waiting to snatch you into their murky waters.

You're Engaged. So Why Are You Obsessed With Your Ex?

Sheryl Paul | Posted 01.21.2012 | Weddings
Sheryl Paul

My clients are always surprised, then relieved, to learn that thinking about an ex is a normal part of being engaged.

Is "Sexting" Cheating You Out of Real Intimacy?

Lisa Firestone | Posted 10.26.2011 | Women
Lisa Firestone

There is a good, sound argument for how technology can bring two people together. Countless couples have now met, married, forged unions, and had chil...

Sex and the Psychological City

Elisabeth Joy LaMotte, LICSW | Posted 09.21.2011 | Entertainment
Elisabeth Joy LaMotte, LICSW

I recently began re-watching season one of Sex and the City and was struck by how much the dating world has changed.

Healing Your Fear Of Emotional Intimacy

Margaret Paul, Ph.D. | Posted 08.28.2011 | Healthy Living
Margaret Paul, Ph.D.

We all desire that deeply fulfilling experience of emotional intimacy, yet many people have two fears in the way of intimacy. Here's what these fears are and how to heal them.

What Every New Census Report Shows: More Americans Are Single. But Why?

Bella DePaulo | Posted 11.17.2011 | Healthy Living
Bella DePaulo

How do the stories in the media explain the increase in the number of single people and decrease in the number of married Americans? One explanation did not seem to occur to anyone.

New York Times Reporter Thinks Single Women Fear Intimacy; I'm Afraid He's Wrong

Bella DePaulo | Posted 11.17.2011 | Healthy Living
Bella DePaulo

New York Times reporter John Tierney recently described a study that supposedly showed that "single women are particularly drawn to other people's partners." But his interpretation is not supported by relevant data.

When Good Marriages Go Bland: How the Dangers of Monogamous Desire Create the Need for Boredom

Stephen Ducat | Posted 11.17.2011 | Healthy Living
Stephen Ducat

The only alternative is to come to terms with the dangers and uncertainties that accompany enduring and erotically charged romantic love, to summon the bravery to remain thrilled by someone we love.