What purity teaching did for me was distill me down to my body. The core of purity culture was that my mind didn't matter, my personality didn't matter, my dreams and desires and goals didn't matter -- if my shorts were too short.
It's high time to reconsider why it was that Disney was so near and dear to our hearts once upon a time so long ago. It provided a safe refuge from the realities of the adult world where vulgarities ran rampant
You know how doctors have such a hard time at social events because there's always someone coming up for a free back pain consultation? Well, that's me at my mom's cocktail parties, except the questioners are all ladies of a certain age, and the subject ain't back pain.
Although it appears that we may be more physically primed for sexual pleasures when young, there is great scope for a sexual renaissance. Sexual prime, then, is the result of "sexiness." And that, can peak at any age.
Seriously, in 2013, are we still talking about female sexuality as if it is a scary, uncontrollable force that requires careful management by the drug industry, the FDA, the culture police and anybody else you can think of?
There's a pervasive notion that women simply do not like porn. But does neuroscience back that up? The answer, surprisingly, turns out to be "not exactly." Porn has more sway over women's brains than one might think.
My mother snapped, "Why would anyone buy the cow when they can have the milk for free?" To be compared to livestock made me feel like a useless possession. I had intelligence, right? I had wit and a depth of emotion and experiences to share. Surely my modesty wasn't the only bargaining chip?
A clear lesson from history: Whenever a profit is to be made by twisting the DSM, it will be twisted. The DSM-5 will give drug companies running room to continue their disease mongering of female sexual disorders, hyping this DSM diagnosis as a means of pushing pills.
Having been brought up in the very religious Deep South, I long thought that even dry humping could get you pregnant. And certainly no one taught me about masturbation. But is this really the way we want to handle human sexuality? Why is sex so taboo?
I've always been told Valentine's Day is a holiday that celebrates love -- a couple's love for each other, not just a man's love for a woman. Or her love of him, for that matter. Yet everything I've learned about how to act on Valentine's day tells me that it's really about his love for her.
It doesn't much matter to me if Vagina is a good book, a stupid book, a book based in science or a figment of the author's imagination. It is more important that a productive, respectful conversation about female sexual satisfaction is actually taking place.
My community continues to be engulfed in a prostitution scandal and the Internet is raging with comments from people around the country. Yet again we see an attempt to minimize the actions of some men while demoralizing women and insulting the larger community of men.
Based on my main inputs of TV and movies, it was pretty clear what guys were supposed to want. But what were girls and women supposed to want? What were we allowed to want? And separate from all that, what did we want?