How would unsuspecting passersby answer the question, "What do you think a lesbian looks like?" The on-the-spot question: "Can you name three lesbians in the media or popular-culture?" Some people's answers may surprise you.
Most people who spew such nonsense expect me to delight in their backhanded praise, but believing that there is a point at which a woman is too attractive to be gay is based on the assumption that heterosexual women are inherently better-looking, and that's homophobic.
I want femme lesbians to be recognised for who we are, to be acknowledged, accepted, and respected. I do not want to be seen as my partner's sister, and I do not want to be viewed as not truly belonging to the lesbian community.