We had talked about language not long after we got engaged, but hadn't come to any conclusions. I didn't like referring to myself as the "bride" because that has very girly/feminine connotations to it for me.
How would unsuspecting passersby answer the question, "What do you think a lesbian looks like?" The on-the-spot question: "Can you name three lesbians in the media or popular-culture?" Some people's answers may surprise you.
Most people who spew such nonsense expect me to delight in their backhanded praise, but believing that there is a point at which a woman is too attractive to be gay is based on the assumption that heterosexual women are inherently better-looking, and that's homophobic.
I want femme lesbians to be recognised for who we are, to be acknowledged, accepted, and respected. I do not want to be seen as my partner's sister, and I do not want to be viewed as not truly belonging to the lesbian community.
Once upon a time, I tried not to date anyone shorter then me, not because I think any less of shorter women, but as a femme, I had it stuck in my head that my partner should and would be taller and bigger than me.
If asked to think of a lesbian, most people's thoughts drift to the stereotypical image of a butch lesbian. It may come as a surprise to some that this is not the only type of lesbian that exists, oh no -- there are some who are "femmes."
Does knowing you're gay early in life affect what type of lesbian you're going to end up being? Or is a butch a butch and a femme a femme no matter when the proverbial lightbulb goes off that says "Oh, I'm so gay!"?