This year, one of my daughter's friends told her she doesn't have straight hair and shouldn't play with them. Then she started ignoring my daughter. I know that my child feels hurt and I'm concerned about her. Signed, Worried Mom
Moving from a small school where you knew everyone for many years to a large, anonymous university campus with thousands of students is a big change that requires a period of adjustment. But many other freshmen are likely to be in the same boat as you.
When we're lonely, it's natural to think about reaching back into the past to resurrect relationships with old school chums -- but be cautious. You may realize that you have even less in common with these friends -- except for your shared history.
Do a google search with two words that by definition shouldn't be in the same sentence, "avoid" and "friend," and you'll get a list of 409,000,000 articles helping you figure out which friends to drop.
The expression simply means take your time to get to know someone well -- male or female -- so they can earn your trust instead of giving it away. It's about protecting yourself from potential disappointment.
Summer brings up a lot of idealized pictures: family vacations, backyard barbeques with neighbors, street festivals with friends. In that gap between our hopes and our reality often comes the surprising feeling of loneliness.
Continuing to ruminate about the lost friendship will only make you more depressed rather than bringing about closure. Instead, try to reframe your thinking to allow for the possibility that it had more to do with her than with you.
A dinner guest had a fabulous theory for testing out whether a city is generally friendly or not: "You can tell by whether or not other girls talk to you while you wait in line for the restroom." I love this. It's a brilliant barometer.