When I hit puberty, my homosexuality was something I could not let slip. I did not want to disappoint my traditional Filipino parents, and in that vein, I grew angry toward them and thought that they would never understand my feelings and what I was going through.

It's as though "down low" were synonymous with "gay and black." Not only is being on the down low problematic, but portraying all gay black men as down-low brothers stigmatizes the gay black community.

Though I can remember almost everything about that day, from my mother's facial expression to her subtle physical responses, only recently have I tried to understand her reactions and consider her feelings throughout my coming-out process.

It all started with an awkward conversation with my dad when I was 16. On what I thought was a day like any other, we were passing our neighborhood Walmart when my father began the line of questioning I'd been dreading since before I was positive I knew the answers.

Instead of throwing a condom in a young gay black man's hand, first look at what his world looks like. What are his life circumstances? What societal barriers prevent him from getting the message on HIV? Does he feel that he has any worth?

The voices in For Colored Boys represent empowerment, which isn't always beautiful and sometimes laced with grit. We colored boys are slapping flesh onto a monolithic image of black LGBT people.

To say that a barbershop, street, or neighborhood is safe for all LGBTQ people is to forget that not all LGBTQ people share the same privileges that we do. Would a feminine-performing brother be safe in your barbershop? Would a masculine-performing sister feel safe in mine?

It is scary coming out as gay when life has already given you so much to worry about, so much to think about, and so much to struggle with.

"You're ugly." Those words have been said directly to me many times in my life, but there are four instances that I remember as clearly as if they were tattooed onto my face.

It can be quite easy for us to direct the negative energy that is projected at us within a largely homophobic and transphobic, racist society toward one another. It seems that "throwing shade" is the only way some of us know how to relate.