The first principle of palliative medicine is to relieve the pain and other symptoms that burden people living with serious illness -- in short, to help people feel better.

Contrary to popular wisdom, what you don't know can sometimes hurt you, and badly. For older adults in particular, this is true when it comes to stroke.

A month ago, I almost became the subject of one of my own medical school lectures, after an episode that illustrated one of the most serious health problems facing older adults and their doctors: falling.

I do my best to keep things in perspective, acknowledging that Harriet is not in pain, that we are not talking about a major illness here -- no heart problems, no cancer, so much to be grateful for at 95. But even this -- a simple cataract operation -- is unbelievably stressful and complicated.

Many of the thoughts that float before me belong to my mother. I tentatively hand them back to her, further creating a space for me to explore my thoughts and my feelings.

When you're in pain, nothing else seems to matter. And if you're an older adult, you are not only more likely to have pain, but also to get less help for it than younger people are.

I get to see another stressful family byproduct of the holiday season: the realization that mom or dad may be "slowing down" in ways one or more siblings might not have recognized during the preceding year.

The saddest thing I see in my practice and in the wider world of elder abuse is the older person with modest retirement savings who gets preyed upon, loses everything, and now has nothing left, with no prospect for future income.

It is impossible to overstate the impact of the loss of a beloved family member. But as great as the loss was, the impact of my mother's life was even greater.