My ex's place in my mind is similar to that of his pictures. He is there, but he is tucked securely away. He is not at the forefront of my thoughts. I do not want to gaze upon him or interact with him in any way but nor do I want to attempt to erase him completely.
When major life events happen, good or bad, we're changed forever. You can embrace that change and make the best of it, or you can let the sting linger forever. And "sting" might be a generous word when we're talking about divorce recovery.