Girlfriends Guide

It was one thing last year for everyone to hunker down into a holiday of uncertainty and frugality, but this year the pretend-poor has turned into real poor, which is much less fun.

Let's not get distracted by asking why in the world I would ever even think I might need personal protection -- my delusions are my own business.

David Letterman is this week's Exhibit A in the ongoing case of Powerful Men v. Sexual Integrity, having climbed over Roman Polanski, who was last week's winner. Congratulations, David.

Why is there all this sentimentalism and taking of sides on the issue of whether film director Roman Polanski should serve his time?

When I heard that the same parents who fail to go to Open House Night to meet the teachers who spend every day teaching our kids decided that watching the President of the United States address them was something they could not allow, I staggered.

Then came the divorce, the brand new home, the brand new furniture and my best efforts to create a lovely and peaceful haven for myself and my kids. I would never have mentioned the dogs and their continued residence with Dad at the old house...

Yes, Anne Heche, you can say "lazy ass" on television. The question is, should you? And the answer is, it's never appropriate when you are talking about the father of your child.

The reality is, losing a beloved is life-altering. We recover, but we are never the same. Everyone, if they we lucky, experiences grief and needs the protection and gentleness of those around us.

There will be many of you who read this and say, "A woman should be able to find all these romances in one marriage!" To the rest of us I say, God bless those of us who get a third time at bat!

We may be divorcing, but the father of my kids is still one of the funniest guys I know. He and I were talking on the phone recently and he explained ...

When I noticed last winter that a person does not only get gray hair on her curtains, but that sooner or later it's bound to show up on her carpet, I did what any fastidious woman would do -- I consulted my girlfriends.

It takes an extraordinary amount of energy and time, with no little courage thrown in, to be single and out in the world.

In the past five years, I've been stunned by how many of my formerly married-with-children girlfriends have bolted from their traditional family geometry and found true love with other women.

Evidently I filed for divorce on my husband's birthday. I only found out when I read it on a gossip site under the headline, "Playboy Model Has Special Birthday Gift for Music Mogul Husband: Divorce."