'Sup, girl. You feelin' sexy today? Do you feel like your womb is a verdant, flowering pasture of fertility? Are all those fuzzy little chemicals burn...

The good people at CNN have been examining voter turnout rates, crunching the numbers, and making lists, and they have found -- much to their apparent dismay -- that the state of Hawaii had the lowest voter turnout of any of these U.S. back in 2008; and they want us to do something about it. I would say that most ordinary Americans are more greatly troubled by their loved ones' continued unemployment, the consistently anemic economy, the widespread foreclosure crisis, student loan indebtedness, shrinking state budgets and long deployments in the unending war in Afghanistan. But I suppose if you proceed down that list of problems, eventually you'll find, "Hawaii has the lowest voter turnout in the nation, oh no," right below "I forgot to TiVo the latest episode of NCIS: Los Angeles and above "The Harris Teeter is always out of ciabatta."

Ditto anyone who gets federal student aid. Can you imagine those people spending our hard earned tax dollars on drugs? They should be dropping that loot at Starbucks like every other student.