After an ambiguous loss, as after a parent's death, it is helpful for the remaining parent to tell the truth, in a timely way, in a manner tailored to the child's developmental capacity, and in limited detail.

When I tuck my girls into bed at night, when I smooth Vera's hair away from her forehead when she has a fever, or scoop Juliette into my arms after a tumble, my heart spilling over for them, I often find myself breathless with the realization of just how much my mother loved me.

This morning while I was running, my thoughts drifted back to Mother's Day 2003. It should have been my first Mother's Day, but life had been unkind, and instead I was clawing my way back from losing the baby.

In the days left, we would live life in the way that Maddie loved. We would enjoy our time, and use our "forever" to miss her. She was here now and needed her little sisters, Amelia and Lucy, her family, her friends and lots of fun.

No one tells you that someday you might have to answer questions that don't have answers. No one tells you that you'll have to swallow so many tears to let them cry theirs.