I used to tell people that ours was an easy marriage, that for some inexplicable reason, we had been given the cosmic gift of being able to love each other easily and well. And on some level, it's true.
While I'm not naturally an advice-giver (it always feels a bit too hubristic and bud-insky to me), I came up with what I thought were insightful, pithy guides to keeping your marriage sane and alive. I thought I had something to give here.
I view planning a wedding as a marvelous opportunity for two people to set the stage -- emotionally, socially and financially -- for the way they plan to relate with their respective families and become their own family.
Yesterday I was moving some dates around in my calendar and I realized that next month is my wedding anniversary. Just as that date seems to slip up on me every year, so too did these last eight years.
It was the summer of 1946. Hunny Feller and her identical twin sister, Bunny, were waitresses at a hotel. ANOTHER set of identical twins, Elliot and Danny Reiken (RYE-kin), worked as musicians in a band there.
What would you tell two starry-eyed lovers about to embark on the rosy path of marriage?
That's the question my brother and his fiancée asked me to answer in a "short" speech on their wedding day. I told them there is no such thing.
When you have been together for 25 years, friends start to ask for advice. I have none. I don't presume to know what makes a relationship work -- all I have is some vague idea of what might possibly make mine work.
When my wife and I got married we wrote our own vows. I carefully crafted mine on the morning of the wedding on that piece of cardboard which comes in the package of new underwear. It was an A-Z list of reasons I love my wife.
Divorce goes back five generations in my family and some of my relatives have even raced to the altar two or three times. As an adult child of divorce, therapist and author, I'm passionate about helping adult children of divorce break the cycle of divorce and achieve satisfying relationships.
Yes, I know the show is a bit extreme, voyeuristic, and, well, often a little silly, but when my husband and I were staring into the marital abyss, I learned a valuable lesson from "Divorce Court" that helped me out at home.