These struggles in our lives are opportunities for us to heal old wounds and to grow. They are catalysts that have to be triggered in order for you to overcome them. These experiences may not feel good at the time, but they are not good or bad -- they are just a part of the human journey.
We always have the right to feel whatever we feel. We also have the right to express anger when we feel hurt or betrayed. However, the real question is not whether you have the right, but whether or not your anger is working for you.
Remember that old house in the historic district of your town / So old that whatever was once Tom Sawyer white / Painted picket is brown and most of the windows were / Boarded up so tight from the inside out.
If I could offer words of advice to my brokenhearted, 16-year-old self, it would be just this: Trust with your whole heart and don't hold yourself back from life even if all hell breaks loose and take the flying leap, come what may.
Relationships are fertile ground for learning about ourselves -- about our unloving behavior that creates the very disconnection we don't want, and about the loving behavior that brings aliveness, joy and passion to our relationship.
All children need time to adjust to anything new in their lives. As a mother your only mistake was not recognizing that you needed to slow the relationship down so you could get to know this man better and not throw your children into the vortex you co-created.