Since part of survival is accepting that you cannot change outside circumstances or people, it is imperative to accept and feel empowered by the realization that you can transform yourself. It's a super power.
I was 10 when I lost my grip on God. When I was 18 and moved away to college, I put God in a box and buried him under a mountain, in a quarry, in a labyrinth, on Jupiter. I'd be my own God.
Which worked, until Ted introduced me to Maureen.
One day, back in 1983, I had a major spiritual experience. I felt that I was in God's presence, and I heard a voice saying, "Remember, Beth. God is changing." Suddenly, I realized that God is not perfect.
In a grim sort of way, the only "news" to me about Amy's death is the date. After all, what really could have stopped this from happening? The only time I have ever seen recovery in a case like Amy's is by an act of God.