In my upcoming book, The AIDS Generation, I share the life stories of 15 remarkable gay men who bravely navigated the pioneering days of the AIDS epidemic, a time when many of us had very limited understandings of the disease and few viable options for fighting the virus.

It feels like talking about HIV/AIDS has been set aside because it requires conversations about more difficult topics, like sex, drugs and poverty. We've de-sexed "gay" to win political wars about marriage and, as a result, abandoned confronting an STI that is devastating our community.

Killing the shame and stigma surrounding HIV is the first step to getting everyone tested and on medication to then ultimately have the majority of infected individuals at undetectable levels.

If HIV-negative men were more assertive about their status, they could take on a fairer share of responsibility in regard to HIV prevention. HIV-positive men have their own status to manage. It's not their responsibility to manage yours too, but it seems that they're expected to do so.

I don't support marriage equality simply for other people. I want to walk down the aisle one day. But in the community in which I live, Palm Springs, Calif., I find that there is an immense shortage of single, available, poz-friendly, sober-friendly total tops.

HIV disclosure laws vary from state to state, with Iowa having arguably the strictest. But let's face it: You're going to have sex again, no matter what lawmakers say. You're going to have to do an honest examination of your personal ethics as an HIV-positive individual.

By increasing HIV status awareness among disproportionately affected African-Americans, we can take full advantage of our new biomedical understanding of the value of treatment as prevention. This approach improves health outcomes for the individual, and for the greater community.

On a cold winter day in Manchester, England, I met Patrick Ettenes, an HIV activist and writer for Out Northwest. What really made me want to meet him was his statement on the phone that "HIV is the best thing that ever happened to me!"

Before I left Chicago, I promised my friend that I would get tested once I got to New York. He said I shouldn't wait any longer. His insistence touched me, though I did wait three more months. My neurotic mind needed all that time to review every sexual encounter I'd ever had.