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The Begonia Monologues

Mike Diamond | Posted 11.20.2013 | HuffPost Home
Mike Diamond

Am I the only person who longs for there to be a soulful rock diva named Tina Turnip? I have considered adopting one of the following as a pen name: Pete Moss, Phil O'Dendron, Bud Blast. If I were a drag queen I'd call myself 'Tacky Sandra'; keep me hydrated and I spread easily!