People are always telling our generation that our main problem is that we grew up with technology and now don't know how to talk to each other. While I hate how holier-than-thou these statements are, these Gen-Y haters are on to something.
So far so good. He makes you smile. He turns you on. The banter is flirty, playful and just enough to make you bite your lip in anticipation. Then he probes: "What do you like?" or "How do you like it?"
In this game, no matter what female college students do, we lose. Do you want a relationship? You don't care about your studies or career. You're only here for your Mrs. Degree. Do you want to hook up? You're a slut.
Now that I've graduated, I'm having oodles of sex. Oodles. There's just something so appealing to women about being young and underemployed... But the fact remains that I was once a pernicious exaggerator. This puts me in good company
"What if sleeping with some guy is squashing his motivation to go out and find the true love of his life because his immediate sexual needs are being met? Meanwhile, some other girl is doing the same with the guy you're supposed to be with."
Pictures are flashed, on profiles, when I'm out with friends, to show the sexy guy that's pursuing them. It's fun, initially. I laugh and participate in it too, while loathing my complicity in something I know we are all harmed by and baffled at our participation in a system that does not serve us.
Hooking up is supposed to be a fun, safe way of exploring your sexuality, no matter whom or what you're into at the moment. But as with any exploration, there is a set of basic rules that can keep you safe and off the radar of the town's gossip queen, with your reputation in intact.
Sometimes a spontaneous move in the right moment sparks something great; thus, every offer should not be rejected. So, instead of a rule, I've created a flow chart to help me decide if I will sleep with someone I meet at a party.
Hook-up culture creates a strange binary: on the one hand, students are having casual sex. On the other hand, students are having no sex at all. With the exception of an occasional long-term relationship, there is virtually nothing in-between.