BK, or otherwise known as "before kids", you have all the answers. You see things clearly, as only an outsider looking in can. It's easy to believe that parenting is divided into things that should be done and shouldn't be done. That works fine... until you have kids.
It takes practice, but you can learn to address misinformation about you (and redress the emotional damage it causes) without resorting to counterattacks or pulling your kids into an alliance against their other parent.
I hobbled to my computer and spent an hour reading articles with titles like "Top 10 Ways to Be a Good Dad," to see what I might be missing. Turns out these articles were not so much about being a good dad as they were about being a good parent. Huh.