Aristotle: This ancient Greek philosopher argued for the primacy of rational thought over animal instincts, and moderation over hedonism. Ideal for: Drivers who slow at yellow lights.
Chess exists as the purest form of intellectual competition this side of a university debate. Head to any major urban park on a sunny afternoon and find the chess hustlers on the benches, decimating all challengers willing to slap down a five-dollar bill.
An intellectual always wants to craft a clear and truthful work, one that presents their ideas in the best possible light, even if it means endless revamps and tweaks.
A bitter rivalry is good for the mind, as it drives opponents to sharpen their arguments to a fine rhetorical point, while serving as great entertainment for outside observers.
There is little shame in viewing an unfamiliar work of art and saying, "I have no idea who painted that," rather than make an uneducated guess.
If you're an intellectual, you need a substantial book collection, preferably at a cost that will leave you with a few extra dollars for food. Here's how to build one.
If you're looking for another intellectual with whom to swap theories, feelings and the occasional cold virus, the following places could serve you well in your hunt.
He was neither the first nor last intellectual jailed for heretical writings, and in some respects he proved lucky: Governments and other powers have a longstanding habit of killing thinkers whose ideas threaten the status quo.
Quoting William Shakespeare is a little like breathing: every living person does it. "He's dead as a doornail," your roommate will say as she flips through the newspaper obits, never realizing she's just quoted part of a couplet from Henry VI.
Sure, you lost the debate. Life is bleak. The soundtrack wails with mournful violins. I have one word for you: rematch.
Spell check is vital for many people who, for one reason or another, have trouble with certain words. It wants to help you out: the problems only start when you use it as an excuse to avoid the necessary reread.
Those nonfiction books that purport to explain life, the universe, and everything will occasionally rocket to the top of the bestseller lists and stick there for months, like a wine stain that won't scrub from the carpet.
Like sports teams, many of the major museums live and die by their seasonal lineup. A series of good shows attracts paying visitors, and generates the buzz that draws headlines, sponsorships, and donors.
There is a very special place in hell reserved for whoever created the emoticon. Nor can we blame the scourge solely on text messaging and e-mail: as far back as the 19th century.
Not that you need to unleash your inner Conan the Barbarian to make a point about literature. But given how intellectuals inevitably harbor well-tended lists of likes and dislikes, not confessing a deep hatred of, say, John Milton's poetry will compel other learned types to view you with suspicion.
A party attended by intellectuals sometimes descends into the verbal equivalent of a thermonuclear war, one in which the combatants seem determined to transform their rivals into stammering, apologetic poseurs before the hors d'oeuvres are even served.
