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How to Negotiate

How to be Your Own Mediator: A Relationship Goal is Necessary for Aim

Grande Lum | Posted 10.20.2009 | Living

Read More: Negotiation, Negotiations, Relationship Advice, Conflict, Conflict-Resolution, Mediation, Communications, How to Negotiate, How-to-Negotiate, Conflict Resolution, Relationships, Living News
Grande Lum

As a mediator, I often ask the parties individually and collectively about their relationship goals.

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How to Be Your Own Mediator: Disconnect the Reaction from the Person

Grande Lum | Posted 09.07.2009 | Living

Read More: Negotiation, Relationships, Communication Skills, How to Negotiate, How-to-Negotiate, Negotiation Tips, Work Relationships, Healthy Relationships, Work-Relationships, Negotiations, Relationship Advice, Conflict, Mediation, Communication Tips, Communications, Mediator, Conflict Resolution, Communication, Living News
Grande Lum

When you can distance yourself from your response, you separate the reaction from yourself.

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How to be Your Own Mediator: Raise the Issue Swept Under the Rug

Grande Lum | Posted 09.01.2009 | Living

Read More: Negotiation, Negotiations, Relationship Advice, Conflict, Relationships, Mediation, Communication Tips, Communication Skills, Mediator, Communications, How to Negotiate, How-to-Negotiate, Conflict Resolution, Communication, Living News
Grande Lum

Unlike a comedian who has to setup a punch line carefully and wait for the right beat, you can come back to an issue that happened hours, weeks and even years ago to work things out.

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How To Be Your Own Mediator: Tell the Third Story

Grande Lum | Posted 08.13.2009 | Living

Read More: Negotiation, Conversation Skills, Negotiations, Conflict, Mediation, Conversation, Communication Tips, Lessons on Communication, Mediator, Communication Skills, How to Negotiate, How-to-Negotiate, Conflict Resolution, Mastering Conversation, Communication, Living News
Grande Lum

In conflict, two people can view identity as a zero sum game. The more right you are; the more wrong I am. You can sense this mentality creeping into stories we tell ourselves and other people.

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How to be Your Own Mediator: Tell the Story Twice

Grande Lum | Posted 08.07.2009 | Living

Read More: Negotiation, Relationship Lessons, Negotiations, Relationship Advice, Conflict, Conflict-Resolution, Mediation, Mediator, Communication Skills, Relationship Tips, How to Negotiate, How-to-Negotiate, Conflict Resolution, Communication, Living News
Grande Lum

Catch the ways you leave out the other person's perspective. Alter your actions by altering the stories you tell yourself and others.

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How to Be Your Own Mediator: Empathize and Assert at the Same Time

Grande Lum | Posted 08.06.2009 | Living

Read More: Negotiation, Negotiations, Relationship Advice, Relationships, Conflict, Communication-Tips, Mediation, Communication Tips, Mediator, Communication Skills, Relationship Tips, How to Negotiate, How-to-Negotiate, Conflict Resolution, Communication, Living News
Grande Lum

Feeling forced to choose to be assertive or empathetic is natural. Yet you may actually feel mixed and even desire to both assert and empathize.

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How to be Your Own Mediator: It's Me Not You

Grande Lum | Posted 08.01.2009 | Living

Read More: Negotiation, Relationship Lessons, Negotiations, Relationship Advice, Relationships, Conflict, Communication Skills, Conflict Resolution Studies, Communications, Relationship Tips, How to Negotiate, How-to-Negotiate, Conflict Resolution, Communication, Living News
Grande Lum

Identify your contribution to the conflict. By accepting your part and then taking responsibility, you give yourself the best chance possible for getting out of conflict.

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Tear Down the Walls: How to Move to Their Side

Grande Lum | Posted 08.01.2009 | Living

Read More: Negotiation, Negotiations, Relationship Advice, Conflict, Relationships, Communications, How to Negotiate, How-to-Negotiate, Conflict Resolution, Influence, Communication, Living News
Grande Lum

If you truly want to bridge the gap between you and the person across from you, sitting alongside is still the place to start.

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Tear Down the Walls: Imagine a Video Camera is Only Capturing You

Grande Lum | Posted 07.30.2009 | Living

Read More: Negotiation, How to Be Happy, Com-Munications, Negotiations, Relationship Advice, Conflict, Relationships, Conflict-Resolution, How to Negotiate, How-to-Negotiate, Communication, Living News
Grande Lum

See yourself doing well. Separate that from what the other person has done or will do. Picture success as it relates to you, your body language, volume, tone and words.

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Create a Comfort Zone for the Other Person

Grande Lum | Posted 07.20.2009 | Living

Read More: Negotiation, Negotiations, Relationship Advice, Relationships, Communications, How to Negotiate, Relationship Tips, Communication, Living News
Grande Lum

If the the person your butting heads with is feeling safe, they are less likely to lose it.

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11 Sure Business Bets

Lita Smith-Mines | Posted 07.10.2009 | Business

Read More: Office, Small Business, Lawyers, Real Estate, Law Practice, How to Negotiate, Rules, Life Lessons, Business News
Lita Smith-Mines

If you receive flowers once the transaction ends, it means the deal certainly shortened your life expectancy. Don't skip your next doctor's appointment.

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Tear Down the Walls: How to Imagine Their Internal Conflict Story

Grande Lum | Posted 05.25.2009 | Living

Read More: Negotiation, Negotiations, Relationship Advice, Relationships, Conflict, Communications, How to Negotiate, Conflict Resolution, Communication, Living News
Grande Lum

Remember that another person has a positive intention.

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How to Seek Heroism in Demands

Grande Lum | Posted 04.10.2009 | Living

Read More: Work Relationships, Negotiation, Relationships, Conflict, How to Negotiate, How-to-Negotiate, Conflict Resolution, Communication, Influence, Living News
Grande Lum

In conflict, heroism may be hidden. Recognize the noble goal that is holed up behind demands and defensiveness to find a constructive way out. Act in ways that live up to heroic ideals.

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How To Talk Someone Into Anything

Prevention | Kalee Thompson | Posted 09.21.2008 | Living

Read More: Power of Persuasion, How to Negotiate, Living News

Originally published at Prevention.com Life is an endless series of negotiations, small and large. Getting a great deal on a new car, talking your ...

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