The key to happiness is in not caring what anyone else thinks of you on any level at all, and in not comparing your life to a dream, a fantasy, someone else's life or a perfect imaginary situation that you somehow insisted into your life as something that must be -- or all is lost.
It's unfortunate that gay men with an unhealthy body image can ultimately hurt our shared commitment to individuality and the wider perception of our community. We have failed to challenge the many reasons that we suffer with an unhealthy preoccupation with the physical.
In this view, our selves are far more extensive than we've been led to believe. They extend beyond our own bodies to include what we think of as other selves and the world. We live in the minds of others, and they in ours.
The word "self" carries strong connotations of autonomy, individuality, and self-sufficiency. It's as if it were chosen to mask our interdependence. It's hardly an exaggeration to say that in buying into this notion of selfhood, humankind got off on the wrong foot.
It is tempting to think of the self as simply a home for the identities we adopt over our lifetime, but on reflection, this, too, falls short. Our self is also the source of the identities that sally forth as our proxies.
To build healthy individuality, we must undertake the task of understanding ourselves and our feelings. This involves self-disclosure. For us to truly understand ourselves, and to stop being concerned about others' opinions of us, we ought to be able to disclose what our true beliefs are.
I have a bigger moustache than your father, higher heels than your mother and I'll steal your girlfriend if you call me "faggot" one more time. Lock up your daughters, shoes and handbags, because Conquistador is coming to town.
We are evolving before our very eyes. I'd like us to consider that -- instead of bewailing the lack of leadership in our culture -- we should treat this phenomenon as we would if we, or someone we loved, lacked a certain skill. Compensate. See the positive.
Back then, I was just starting to get a clue about my spiritual reality, but without a doubt, George was already there. He has often been referred to as "the spiritual Beatle." Looking back at that evening, I can see why.