We can ask for, participate in and commit to getting the full and direct experience that is love. After all, to love someone truly is to be interested and willing to create the experience that is love for them, and thus to become truly bilingual in the language of the heart.

Feeling fully seen, accepted, valued and cherished are really wonderful experiences, and these feelings can generate the kind of safety that leads to intimacy, spontaneity and aliveness in the relationship and in the bedroom.

Do opposites attract, as Paula Abdul once assured us in a pop song, or do you need to be similar on 19 dimensions of personality -- as eHarmony suggests -- to find the perfect match?

It can feel unsafe and vulnerable to receive compliments and take them to heart. If we quickly return the energy, we can stay in our comfort zone and we obstruct the intimate and heart-opening growth before us.

"How do I know when I'm really in love?" "What does it mean to be in love?" "I think I'm in love, but then I have doubts." Such a big question! And we all wish there was an easy answer -- a formula we could follow to determine if we are in love.

Argument and debate are going to happen, even in the best of partnerships, but it doesn't have to mean doomsday or that you're not compatible. In fact, I have found some conflict can actually be a stepping stone to a more honest, intimate place and can foster better communication.