I've always imagined having kids. And I always thought that when I was ready to be a mother, it would happen in a snap. A decade into our marriage, we felt ready. We excitedly began trying and nothing happened. Well, something happened: I couldn't get pregnant.
In the last year, over the course of four IUIs (intrauterine inseminations) and one IVF (in-vitro fertilization) procedure, I have purchased millions of sperm "donated" by men whose names, ages and places of birth remain unknown to me.
Every time you have to go through another kind of treatment, you ask yourself: "Is it worth it? Do I really want it that bad?" And then in the very next breath, you are taken out by the sheer magnitude of how much you want a baby.