Jeffrey Toobin

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Enquirer Publishes Photo of Baby with $400 Haircut

Andy Borowitz | Posted 08.08.2008 | Politics

Read More: John Edwards, Andy Borowitz, Jeffrey Toobin, Joy Behar, Sex, Elizabeth Edwards Video, Edwards Affair, Rielle Hunter and John Edwards, Rielle Hunter, Ed, Picture of Edwards and Baby, Photo of Edwards Baby, Baby Photos, Politics News

Minutes after John Edwards admitted having an extramarital affair during the 2008 campaign, a supermarket tabloid published potentially explosive photos of an infant with a $400 haircut.

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New Cell Phone Risks Cause Panic Among Assholes

Andy Borowitz | Posted 08.04.2008 | Living

Read More: Cell Phones, Andy Borowitz, Jeffrey Toobin, Joy Behar, Health, Techology, Living News

With a new doctor's warning that cell phone use could pose a serious health risk, many jerks and douchebags are considering changing their ways.

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Britney, Paris Air Savage Anti-McCain Ad

Andy Borowitz | Posted 07.31.2008 | Politics

Read More: Paris Hilton, John McCain, Andy Borowitz, Britney Spears, Joy Behar, Jeffrey Toobin, Barack Obama, Politics News

Ms. Hilton said she was also "offended" by the implication that she and Ms. Spears favor a tax on electricity: "We have both been very clear on that issue."

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Obama Leads McCain in Frequent Flyer Miles

Andy Borowitz | Posted 07.28.2008 | Politics

Read More: John McCain, Andy Borowitz, Jeffrey Toobin, Joy Behar, Barack Obama, Politics News

While polls show the two candidates locked in a close electoral race, Obama's impressive frequent flyer mile haul this month may put the contest for the most miles out of McCain's reach.

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McCain Makes Historic First Visit to Internet

Andy Borowitz | Posted 07.21.2008 | Politics

Read More: John McCain, Andy Borowitz, Joy Behar, Jeffrey Toobin, Barack Obama, John McCain Internet, Mccain Internet, Politics News

McCain aides said that the senator's journey to the Internet will span five days and will take him to such far-flung sites as Amazon.com, eBay and Facebook.

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Obama Releases List of Approved Jokes About Himself

Andy Borowitz | Posted 10.01.2009 | Comedy

Read More: The New Yorker, Andy Borowitz, Jeffrey Toobin, Joy Behar, Barack Obama, Comedy News

Saying he is "sympathetic to late night comedians' struggle to find jokes to make about me," Sen. Obama today issued a list of official campaign-approved Barack Obama jokes.

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McCain Issues Top Ten Funniest Ways to Kill Iranians

Andy Borowitz | Posted 07.09.2008 | Politics

Read More: Iran, John McCain, Andy Borowitz, Christe Brinkely, Jeffrey Toobin, Joy Behar, Politics News

McCain, who yesterday commented that the U.S. could kill Iranians with cigarettes, was apparently "just warming up," one aide said today.

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Obama Posing Threat to Rock Stars, Rock Stars Fear

Andy Borowitz | Posted 07.08.2008 | Politics

Read More: John McCain, Andy Borowitz, Jon Bon Jovi, Aerosmith, Metallica, Joy Behar, Jeffrey Toobin, Barack Obama, Politics News

The presumptive Democratic nominee's decision to address a crowd of 75,000 fans at Invesco was "the last straw," says singer Jon Bon Jovi.

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Liberal Bloggers Accuse Obama of Trying to Win Election

Andy Borowitz | Posted 07.02.2008 | Politics

Read More: Walter Mondale, Michael Dukakis, Andy Borowitz, Joy Behar, Jeffrey Toobin, John Kerry, Barack Obama, Politics News

Suspicions about Sen. Obama's true motives have been building over the past few weeks, but not until today have the bloggers called him out for betraying the Democratic Party's losing tradition.

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McCain Proposes Tax Holiday for Beer Heiresses

Andy Borowitz | Posted 06.29.2008 | Politics

Read More: John McCain, Andy Borowitz, Jeffrey Toobin, Joy Behar, Cindy McCain, Politics News

The senator took great pains to indicate that the tax holiday would not be available to all brewery heiresses, "Just those with a net worth of over 100 million dollars."

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Cindy McCain Robot Gets New Head

Andy Borowitz | Posted 06.22.2008 | Politics

Read More: John McCain, Andy Borowitz, Jeffrey Toobin, Joy Behar, George W. Bush, Cindy McCain, Politics News

"This new head is going to enable the Cindy McCain robot to do things that it could never do before," said McCain aide Davison Matz. "For one thing, it will now be able to talk."

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Hillary in Limbo

Marcia G. Yerman | Posted 06.12.2008 | Politics

Read More: Dan Abrams, Hillary Clinton, Gloria Borges, Jeffrey Toobin, Rachel Maddow, Barack Obama, Barack Obama Hillary Clinton, Vice President, Politics News

While there was talk about how historic it was that an African-American won the nomination of his party, every comment was punctuated by the questions about Hillary.

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It's Over! Mostly! La Fin Du Primary Season

Huffington Post | Rachel Sklar | Posted 06.12.2008 | Media

Expect to hear a lot about Charlie Crist, Katherine Sebellius, Jim Webb, Bobby Jindal, Chuck Hagel, Joe Biden, Wes Clark, Tim Kaine, and, thanks to precedent, Jim Johnson -- but for now this is what we noticed from last night's coverage, in no particular order.

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Hillary Rejects, Denounces Self

Andy Borowitz | Posted 06.01.2008 | Politics

Read More: Bill Clinton, Andy Borowitz, Bobby Kennedy, Rfk, Terry McAuliffe, Hillary Clinton, American Airlines, Jeffrey Toobin, Joy Behar, Politics News

Sen. Clinton offered an explanation for her comments about the late Sen. Kennedy, saying, "I am still suffering from post-traumatic stress disorder as a result of my service in the Bosnian army."

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CNN Panelist Defends Use Of 'Bitch' As Pejorative

HuffingtonPost.com | Jason Linkins | Posted 05.28.2008 | Politics

Read More: Alex Castellanos, Hillary Clinton, Jeffrey Toobin, Cnn, Politics News

Paging Geraldine Ferraro! When it comes to sexism, there exists a more fertile ground to critique than obscure hip-hop gestures. And, there are more ...

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Toobin: A McCain Court Could Overturn Roe In "Maybe A Year"

Huffington Post | Rachel Sklar | Posted 05.20.2008 | Media

Read More: Supreme Court, John McCain, Roe v. Wade, Antonin Scalia, David Souter, Samuel Alito, John Paul Stevens, Anthony Kennedy, John Roberts, Jeffrey Toobin, Ruth Bader-Ginsburg, Clarence Thomas, The Nine, Media News

You know what they say: You can pick your nose, you can pick your friends, and you can also pick the next three justices to sit on the Supreme Court. ...

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