It's that time of the year again. The time when family dramas and conflicts that have been kept at bay will resurface and issues get stirred up. The time when we have to see people that we wouldn't choose to see the other 364 days of the year.
As a couples' therapist, I've come to realize that people rush to marriage and sometimes get married for all the wrong reasons or they do it way too early. Couples sometimes feel they have to get married because it fits a paradigm of how they see their life.
So many of my clients are influenced by how they look and how they feel. If someone feels depressed and lacks confidence, this is reflected in what they wear, and conversely, if someone has a positive attitude and is confident, that will show in their attire.
I recently had the opportunity to speak with Captain Tom Bunn, one of the world's foremost experts on fear of flying. What's unique about Captain Bunn is he isn't just an airline captain, but also a licensed psychotherapist and former Air Force jet fighter.
People should forget the fact that their friends are either married or engaged. They aren't part of their relationship. Nor is there a life script that says you need to adhere to societal norms or rush to get married just because others have done so.
People pleasers are willing to do anything for the company, anything to make someone happy, and anything to help anyone in need. But people like this should not be exploited. And while kindness is a fine quality, it should not come at the expense of one's needs and personal happiness.
Wishful thinking is usually an outgrowth of a fear. People don't resort to wishful thinking because it works. They resort to wishful thinking because it allows them to avoid confronting their fear. Wishful thinking allows you to avoid discomfort, stress, change, anxiety and pressure.
So often I see couples for therapy who just recently moved in together after knowing each other for a very short time. Is it being done out of convenience or is it the next step towards marriage? Be fully committed because any doubts will show and ultimately lead to troubles.
We're in the throes of wedding season and inevitably I see lots of in-law related issues either before or shortly after marriage. One of the most common issues is from the wife who feels that the mother-in-law gets between her and her husband.
Just how do real men in 2013 feel about bringing home less than half of their household's income? We sat down with three men, successful in their own right, to see how an income differential plays out in their relationships.
As a psychotherapist and coach, I'm in the unique position to hear from both men and women what they hate and love about online dating. I hear about red flags, things that work, and things that freak people out.
In helping them navigate the wild world of dating, I hear their complaints, and there are many. Overwhelmingly, the biggest one from the guys is about who should pay on a date and also how to deal with people they take out who don't thank them or are seemingly ungrateful.
Throughout the year, a lot of soon-to-be married couples come to me for pre-wedding stress and anxiety. This stress can come very close to breaking up the engagement and open up family issues to the point where people go radio silent on each other.
For many people, going to the gym is a way of life, a necessity to feel good. They join a gym so they can stick with a routine. For others, though, they buy a membership, yet hardly ever go. Fear underlies this lack of follow-through.
Playing with dolls is a perfectly healthy behavior for a male toddler. No different than a female playing with dolls, a part of normal development and entirely consistent with a toddler's vivid imagination and creativity.